Open Book

Welcome 2006

2006-01-12T00:45:00.000-05:00

Hey! When was the last post...? Oh my, it was in November!! I'll try to be a little more up to date this semester.

Okay, let's recap the end of last semester. Finals happened. There ya are. I didn't do too badly, but I did badlyer (worse for those who speak english) than I wanted to do. Then semester break came along. By the end of break I felt that my mind had decided it had enough of me and left. I couldn't remember a thing. Seriously, it was getting a little troublesome. I also had a heck of a time putting my thoughts to words. Then the break ends. Ah, now I need that brain back!

Mmm, break was amazing though. While I didn't get to hang out with hardly anyone I was able to relax like I've not relaxed in a long time. But here I am, back at school. Things may change soon, I'm not sure how soon or in what manner they will change, but they will. They always do!

In more current news, I'm going to be welcomed as a member of Calvary this weekend. That's kind of exciting. Kind of. It's not like, Yay! A member of Calvary!! But it's like, cool, cool.

Okay, I think I'm switching to Xanga. So I'll put that link in my aim profile & post a final posting here.

Love...Love & Peace

Before the Storm...

2005-12-13T02:28:00.000-05:00

okay, it's the first day of finals week. For us at Geneva that means "reading day." We have the day off. So here goes, the final pause before the onset of the storm to come. It really isn't as bad as all that, I only have two sit down test finals, one tuesday & one wednesday. The others are all hand in things, yet they are the ones I'm more concerned about. Two of them are 7-9 page papers. Everything is due either tomorrow (tues) or wednesday. I plan on staying here till Friday, so that will give me a nice little break after the insanity that will take place.

I will post more on how things are going after the finals are over. Things will be different then. Yessir, they will

Love, Peace, and a lot of energy drinks.

Getting Into the Swing

2005-11-16T00:09:00.000-05:00

I think it's all finally setting in. Either that or I'm just getting used to the crazy pace that has been set. Either way, it's starting to relax...somewhat. But hey, there is good and bad, bad and good... right now a lot more bad. Week before Thanksgiving is pretty hectic, as I'm sure some of you know. I'm really looking forward to the break though, just getting some time. Time for myself, and time with people I'd like to hang out with.

I was able to spend a little more time here over the past weekend, and it was fun. The Andy Warhol museum really wasn't all that impressive to me. I didn't enjoy it much, but it was fun. Got to hang out with the Nicholsons though, and that was awesome!

Started to get sick Sunday, and then the week was just *high to low whistle*. Straight down. Well anyway, anyway. That's pretty much all from here. I've got the stable list of annoyances but I'm sure you don't care aboot that either (yeah, I meant to put aboot, it sounds funny).

Go ahead, say it...aboot. Kind of like "a boot." I don't have boots though...I'm probably going to need those come winter. Well, come snow. It may be winter without snow, or it may be fall with snow. I really hope for the latter, since I love snow. And I don't care if you hate it, I like it. I LIKE IT!

Well now you've gotten me all flustered. Good job. I'm going to bed.

Love & Peace

Tired of Life

2005-11-06T23:59:00.000-05:00

No no no, don't worry. No suicidal thoughts or anything. Thing is that I've been hitting upon the fact that this life is a mess. I have a pretty good life, compared to others, and am truly thankful for it. It's very upsetting though to see how screwed up things are though. I am told two things, #1 - I can do something to help change the world for the better, & #2 - I can do nothing to help change the world.

Which do I believe? I've come to the conclusion that you don't care. Okay, I know there are some of you out there that care. Yet as I write this I can think back and see that stuff like this is inconsequential. What is the point of me telling you things like this is the majority of you do not care?

Take aim info for example. How many times do you see someone with a downcast message or quote in their info. You ask them how things are going and they tell you everything is fine. If everything were fine wouldn't there be a more positive quote in there? So you don't follow up & leave them to their ...downcastedness. Don't worry, everyone else is like that. This is an example that helps me draw the conclusion that most people don't care.

Caring should be a two way action. While you're caring for others you have no time to care for yourself, so when nobody cares for you, you're left open & wounded. In a perfect society or world or whatever you want to live in, people should care for everyone else so that everyone's need is met without them worrying about their own needs.

Obviously this isn't going to happen. That's why most everyone cares only for themselves. Everyone else is divided into the other 3 categories: Caring for Themselves then Others, Caring for Others then Themselves, and Caring for Others. No matter which way you turn it, every one of those 4 kinds of people hurt. Those that care more for themselves have less meaning in their relationship, and those that care more for others lack in thier own needs.

So...how do we fix this? The Truth is obvious, if you care *wink*

Love & Peace

Yo

2005-10-24T00:27:00.000-04:00

hey, things are going as well as can be expected. Yesterday (saturday, or if you're being timely correct it was two days ago) we had a pig roast & several meetings at Camp Allegheny. A little bit of fun mixed in with a lot of insanity. That produced a lot of fun.

Mmm, this week was pretty fast. I guess that's cause there was only 3 days of school, what with fall break & all. Boy, I wish I had that a lot more often. Anyway, this weekend had a lot of discussions with several different people. This week actually. Spent some quality time with a hall-mate (yeah, I made that word up, go blow your nose) thursday night. We had an interesting MT meeting before the roast that also generated some good discussion.

Thus ends another week. It's Sunday night, and uh, I'm going back to school tomorow. Wanted to spend another night in this awesome bed. Woo! So, that's it for now.

Love & Peace

Breaking the Fall

2005-10-16T00:27:00.000-04:00

On fall break right now. A lot has happened since the last blog I suppose. Bombed that philosophy test by the way. That wasn't fun. The end of that week saw me driving out to Cedarville with Jason & Laine. The Kobialka/Beckwith family sure is interesting. I really enjoyed the time I spent out there.

The end of that trip brings me to sunday, when I came home & get right back into the swing of school & such. Monday found me sleeping the day away (after classes of course) and catching up on the missed sleep over the weekend. The end of this week would be fall break, and I was really looking forward to it. First though, I had to get through the week. Ups, downs, in-betweens, and basically life was all I can say happened this past week. If you're reading this and actually care a sniffle about what you're reading, I'll ask you to pray for me. My organization sucks, and I am not doing as well as I need, want, should, and care to be with my schoolwork. This is not good. This is why I took work off. This is why I'm spending so much $$! I'm still the lazy kid I was previous years, and that needs to change. Severely. Well, maybe not severely, but I'll need prayer.

Yesterday...or well, now I guess it's two days ago...Friday. The beginning of fall break & the return home for several days. I was really looking forward to it. Really. Seriously. Sooooo, last night Dave & Jason & I pretty much hung out for a while. J-Dubb joined us for a spell and we watched Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. Good movie if you've played the game, but I'm afraid you'd not understand a thing to appreciate the movie if you haven't gone through the game first.

Stayed up entirely too late last night. Woke up a little earlier than I'd've liked for my first day to get loads of sleep. Then one of the most odd days occurred... It was the same crew as the previous night. Only there was a conflict of what there was to do, and what we wanted to do. After debating it some time (it'd be a bad idea to ask how long we thought about what to do) we all agreed on one thing- Now, this will probably sound horrible and like we're a bunch of womanizers, but we wanted to hang out with some girls. Like, there's a nice mix when you're with mixed company. The opposite gender brings a solid balance to some things, and that's nice to have.

As it turned out (and to our regret) there were no females to hang with that we could think of (& if you are a girl we could have hung out with & forgot, I'm sorry!). So we pretty much had a whole day filled up with nothing. Testosterone-filled nothing. We got on each other's nerves, as such a thing always happens under the circumstances, and by the end of the day had still been unable to generate any working ideas that were...even in the least, entertaining.

So, this brings you all to perhaps why you are reading the blog. Why are you reading it? To find out what I've been up to? If that has been your intent, that's about all I can tell you. Nothing exciting...though I am pretty excited to be on break at the moment. I've been in a wild mood all weekend so far. Oh! and we're going to Marrienville on Monday, and I'm so thrilled about that. I can't ask you to understand this, but imagine that you get the chance to go somewhere really special, almost magical. It's a place you've known since childhood & many "adventures" have happened there. I've a couple other reasons for my fondness of the woods out there, but that's the gist of it.

So, what about me, personally? Is that why you're reading this? You want to know how I'm doing? I'd say that's very decent of you, not many people care to ask that question, or further to hear the answer attatched to it. Overall, I'm doing well. This may sound...hazy or clouded in definition, but it really is how I'm doing. As a whole mind you. If you tear me apart and inspect the pieces, I'd probably not be doing all that great.

Physically - I'd like to say I'm not vain or altogether worried with my own appearance. So that about sums that up. I'm trying to balance minimal eating with the enjoyment of food, and almost total lack of physical activity. Rough balance actually. Am I doing okay? Couldn't tell you, but probably not

Mentally - Eh...this is where I'm struggling mostly. As I mentioned above, I'm not doing as well as I want to be in school, and that's mostly due to my own laziness. Yeah, I'd like to mask it, but that's what it is & there's no denying it. Well, there's always some denying it...

Emotionally - Trying to avoid this one altogether really. I suppose I'm as emotionally sound as the next guy, but that may be on the surface. There is always the demon of the single life that hounds me, but I remain patient (as a whole...or maybe as a ruse) until the time is right. Only God knows for sure, but I'd like to be next on that list to know... That's about it really. Everything else seems to be working normally in this area...

Spiritually - Right. This is simultaneously the most important and most lacking area. Needing & depending on God should show more attention to this area, but I'm not attending much to it. I'd like to say I'm getting around to it, but ...

So, piece by piece I'm falling apart. God alone keeps me together. He keeps me company when I'm feeling particularly lonely, keeps me patient when I believe He is testing my patience. I could go on and on with the Christian blather, but maybe you don't want to hear that.

Why do I write in this blog? Wouldn't it be easier to just keep a journal? Is this just a public journal after all? And if so, why public?

Answering that question may be tough. I write a lot when I've got strong feelings. So...obviously I'm feeling something tonight. What am I feeling? Why am I writing all this? Well, I'd like to think that I want to be transparent to people. At this time in my life, there are many things that I don't care to hide from people. If you want to know me, I try to be an open book, easy to read and comprehend.

What am I feeling then, when I write everything out in this? A tidal wave of realization crashes down when I realize that I am obviously missing a key piece in my relationships. I've no one to relate with. I've nobody to really talk to & share my brokenness with. Do not pity me! I don't want you feeling sorry for me, cause that really doesn't do anything. Just pray if you want. That always helps.

A little too transparent? Maybe... but then, I must like you if I put this out here where you can read it...

Love...and Peace

Speed Blogging

2005-10-06T01:51:00.000-04:00

yeah, it's been a while. I've been trying to stay on top of classes, and so far it's working. Recent things that I've hit on that are cool

I keep forgetting this, and pray for me in this area, but there was an article I read that had a little piece in it about our words these days revolving around justifying our actions. I don't want to do that. I don't need to justify my actions, and I want my actions to speak for themselves. So hopefully I can improve in that area.

Another little thing I found that upsets me is how either stupid, or lazy people can be. There are two doors, and people will go out of the way to only go through one that's open. If they're both open, that's fine. But when one is open and people are like, waiting for others to go through it...there's another door there! What the heck!? I've had to constantly open doors just cause other people won't. Sometimes, it's really obvious to me how cattle-like humanity is. Ugh, it's been said that one person is smart, but people are dumb. It is true.

Things pretty much continue the way they have been for the past several weeks. I am making some good friendships here, and that's a blessing. Some good guys out here. Some bad ones too, but you'll have that. Haven't really gotten into the female end of things, for a few reasons... But we'll save those for later. It's bedtime! Yay!!!

Oh...philosophy test tomorrow. I studied my brains out...and do not feel prepared for this at all. Well, lets hope my brain retains it all.

Love & Peace!!

Hearts Stars and Horseshoes (ARR!)

2005-09-21T13:20:00.000-04:00

Okay, so if you don't understand the title, ask Jason or J-Dubb, cause they'll recite for you, in their best pirate voice, the whole thing. But hey, through a link from a friend I found out that...

My pirate name is: Iron Bartholomew Bonney
A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

take your own pirate test here http://www.fidius.org/quiz/pirate/

yeah, enjoy the life of a pirate!

Let's Go Again!

2005-09-20T23:44:00.000-04:00

Okay, things are not happening quite they way I want them to. I'm not doing as well in classes as I want to be, and even the past couple of days I haven't been all that healthy.

If anyone who watches anime has seen Naruto, they would learn an important thing that has come to my attention through that show - determination. The main character is all about being a top-notch ninja. He gets beat down quite often, but the constant (aside from the beat-downs) is that he always gets back up again and keeps going. Great view on life! Pick myself up, do it again harder!

That's a little tidbit I've learned. So I add that to the list of things I've actually learned from video games/books/cartoons. Yeah, learned from them!

FInal Fantasy VII - confidence
Final Fantasy VIII - unwilling leadership
Final Fantasy IX - helping others with for no reason
Trigun - love & peace
Naruto - determination

hopefully I'll be able to add to that list, but those are the things that come readily to mind. Yup, how about that! Yeah, as a christian I'm pretty much always working on those things, but it's nice to see good qualities being taught even when there is no Biblical approach.

Anyway, even though I haven't been feeling all that great recently, tomorrow's another day and I've got a lot to do.

Let's Go Again!

Bit of an Update

2005-09-15T01:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, here we go. Nothing! I've been doing schoolwork, but that's about it. Work work work. Good thing is that I think I'm staying pretty much on top of things, with a few exceptions. And one of the things I have to do now is keep this book. It's like a planner, but like, a goal-setter. So I have to come up with some goals and try and follow them through. And yes (J-Dubb) one is the book. So I'll be spending time throughout the week working on that. I pretty well defined werewolves today, so already I'm off to a great start!

Anything else? Nope. I'm planning on staying here friday night (what!? On a weekend?!?). Yeah, I need to. I'll be around Sat, but I work till 10. And don't be surprised if I quit. I was enjoying not working, and I can get by with little/no money till next summer. Yay! But the parents wouldn't like that... I dunno, need to weigh options and pray.

Time for bed, so goodnight on this one.

Love and Peace!!

Humility Cuts Deep

2005-09-13T16:35:00.000-04:00

Romans 14. That's all I need to say about that. I'm here to learn, and God is good enough to teach me.

Love, Peace, and being cut down like an oak

Bi-weekly Update...and Rave

2005-09-12T20:48:00.000-04:00

yeah, it's been about two weeks. School has started to slide into a routine of sorts, but it's still not there. About the only problems I have is balancing my work with my social life. One is suffering way more than the other, but I'd rather have it that way. I came here to learn, not to meet people.

A couple of things have happened, but both are related to the church. The famed Ministry Team has been disbanded for now, while the group takes time to regroup. This basically means that I'll have to take up some of that slack & help serve more than I have been. The other thing is that I've been moved from Wednesday nights to Sunday nights. This really works to my advantage, since now I'm not driving in the middle of the week. Yay! Just keep me in your prayers for leadership & setting a good example.

Ugh, speaking of which, the past few weeks have been a real disappointment for me. It simultaneously angers me and saddens me when I hear people say things like "I don't care what other people see me do," or "I'm not in charge of them, what I do doesn't affect them." Well, it doesn't bother me as much but when Christians (or those claiming to be Christians) say things like that.

Truth is, people watch you whether you care or not. An example is set whether you're leading a group, or simply out some night with a bunch of people. It really ticks me off when people do idiotic things, admit afterward that what they did wasn't a good idea, but continue to live life in the same manner as before. What's wrong with this!? Don't people care that they affect other people?? Don't they know that whatever they do is a reflection of who they are??? And as Christians, the effect is multiplied because we are supposed to be reflecting Christ! Don't people care about reputations? Don't they desire to be looked at as something pure and set aside by God!? WHAT THE CRAP IS WRONG WITH BEING GOOD!? WHEN WAS IT "COOL" TO BE STUPID AND SELFCENTERED!? AND WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY!?!?

Seriously. Why do I feel like being a nice guy is completely looked down on, and goes unrewarded in today's society? That's something that has been building up for a bit I suppose. Anyway, other than being socially "persecuted" for being good, everything is fine. Except for Philosophy...I don't like that class...

Love, Peace, and Chivalry

--- You don't have to have a reason to help people ---

Day Turns Sour

2005-08-31T00:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, so my day was all good and fine until Brandon came over to print a paper out. Then we realized that the cartridge was out of ink. No worries, there would be some black in the color cartridge too. Well, no, wrong there, so after supper we started out toward Wal-Mart.

This is where the real dificulties started. Brandon's windshield wipers were going along fine until they stopped completely. So we made our way to Wal-Mart, then proceeded to look the car over, and after finding there was nothing we could do, we went in the store. They were out of the big cartriges, so we grabbed a little one & headed for the checkouts. On the way back, we were forced to "throw" the wipers back and forth across the glass so Brandon could see while driving. He was also shifting since his car is manual. We were throughly cold & wet by the end of the trip, so we chilled here for a while.

Anyway, that was my day. Not fun.

Love, Peace, and may many ink cartridges fall in your pathways

Some Kind of Routine

2005-08-29T23:57:00.000-04:00

that's pretty much what I need here. I want to be in a routine, not just starting one. If I were already in a routing, I'd be on top of things. I'd have my system, I'd know what I'm doing. Right now, it's all chaotic. But that's okay, I'm just anxious for when I know what I'm doing and have time to do other stuff. Blah blah blah. Okay, that's about all for now, first day of classes wasn't bad at all. I'm going to enjoy Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I only have two classes. Tomorrow and Thurs will be a little more hectic, but quite bearable. Quite. Okay people...

Love and Peace

New friends, new surroundings, new life

2005-08-27T20:16:00.000-04:00

I am at war. Who I am is striving to be let out, yet is continually suffocated by the position I have put myself into…
Destroy, Divide
My personality is being molded by those around me. I cannot function as I normally would. I find myself a slave to other people as I live near, around, and with so many more people than I have ever wanted to. Such a thing is against my nature.

The lone wolf, his own agenda unknown to others who would be in contact with him, strides out with his own courage. He is self-sufficient. He needs nothing save what The Creator has given him. Necessities are acquired as needed. Food is simply caught and devoured without thought. Enemies are torn without hesitation.

The only problem with this example is that I am not a wolf. I have emotion. Yet I am torn between past and future, as will be apparent as I explain myself. In order to survive in a place such as college, friends are needed. Perhaps not as close as those I already have, but a beginning is needed before the end is attained.
As I struggle to fight my natural tendencies and strive to meet people, I am faced with several new problems. The first being my own self-

I am a loner
I am quiet
I am normal/bland
I will not stand out in a crowd
These statements describe me this week. These qualities are as much a part of me as they are no part of me whatsoever. Nothing in me wants to be normal and boring and overlooked by everyone around me, yet at the same time every part of me would despise the attention that some people get. I’m sure that if people who knew me could observe me here, they would be unable to recognize me by my actions.
I want so badly to break out of this prison, but am currently unable. I need adjustment before the breakout occurs. When that part of me breaks free, I will be free, yet presented with another problem.
The friends I have are sufficient. They are more than sufficient. I trust my friends with my life- my body, my emotions, my thoughts. Though I have been let down a few times, I have not been so severely let down as to forsake them and have need of new ones.
Therefore, I feel a certain amount of betrayal when I lose touch with good friends, just to simply “hang out” with people I don’t really know. Yet it is imperative that I do so.

Do not pity me, for I do not want it. Do nothing but pray. Pray for patience, pray for difficulties, for it is in those times that God will teach me what I need.

Then we come to a third thing: Other’s interests compared to my own.
I paid money to go to school so I can be educated. I did not pay money so I could live on my own. I did not pay money so I could experience life without rules. I did not pay money so I could meet girls.
But I am living on my own, I am experiencing life without rules, and I have met many girls. My focus needs to be on my education (God being #1, and education for the glory of God). As for the rest, it falls into place where it will. I am quite free of many hassles, I have freedom in what I do, and while I have not found a significant other, my frustration can only grow as certain events play against me in that search.
Thus ends my first week of my new life. It is not desirable, yet it is necessary. I struggle, but I must live through.

Scratch the Surface

2005-08-14T01:16:00.000-04:00

hey, I apologize to all (if any) who had been keeping up with this guy. A lot has been going on and I didn't feel the need to write about it in the blog. Though not all is good, not all is bad. That's a bit of sunshine for ya, huh?

As always, K-Mart is the same. Well, almost. This is like, the first time this has happened to me, but I lost my cool with a fellow employee. I'm still feeling the reprocussions of this, but I think it was worth it, even to just prove a point. If you have questions, ask.

There is a large change in work, but that's mostly due to my going to school again this fall. Yeah yeah, am I excited? Not really. It takes a lot to get me excited these days, and going to an unknown place with unknown people isn't high on the list of things that gets me excited. Though, tell me I'm getting a new computer and I'll flip! YAY! (That's a rumor, I don't know if I'm getting a computer or not) But anyway, good ol' Geneva will have to put up with me for a while, and I'm looking forward to it. Not working much, focusing on the power of the mind, and *ulp* meeting new people. Actually, pray for me here would you? I'm not very good at it.

So, that just leaves us with me: how have I been?

Not too good. It's been...difficult. Socially.

A close friend had some recent troubles last week, and it was kind of odd to see him in as much pain. Life sucks sometimes, and just knowing that doesn't make it any better. Things kind of...didn't get better from there, though for me, not him. Some of us went out last friday night for a great evening of food and movies and fun. Though, something struck me as the night wore down. The girls were having a very good time. Like, they were bonding and everything and seriously, I was just having a good time knowing that they were having a good time. Only problem was, I'm a guy, and this hasn't been a good week to be a guy. You know, when girls are being girls guys tend to be pushed aside. Now hey, you're thinking, "that's sexist" or something? (probably not, you're probably thinking "shut up you loser") But it's not, and I'm not. I just felt like I had gone to hang out with people that really didn't want me to be there. I'm sure they didn't feel that way, but that's how I felt by the end of the night.

The rest of the week was kind of like that, but with some breaks throughout. Monday night Doug and I found ourselves at Mr. C's visiting Jenette, then headed out to Kobialka's for a violent movie. It was ...lol violent. Day after, we had a game night at Shuppies, and, without getting into many details, the week turned a little further to the bad.

Wednesday was a little more peaceful, and we watched Be Cool. That movie, though rated PG-13, had quite a bit of language in it. I had forgotten about that, but it was still funny. Thursday...I can't remember thursday. Ohhhhh yeah, thurdsay I was working in recieving @ 8 a.m. and either got a bit of dehydration, or sinus, or lack of sleep, or some kind of combination, but after I was done I went home & went back to bed. That night was kind of shot...But I think something still happened. Mmmm...was that the night we went to see Jenette and Kobialka's? I thnk it was! Man, then if that's the case I don't remember what I did tuesday! Ahhhh!!!

I do remmeber friday though, after work Doug, Jenette, and I went to Baldinger's, then to Boardman for some chinese. We met up with Brandon, Katie, Ashley, Amelia, and Meredith, and then proceeded to eat ourselves silly. Though some had not been fufilled, cause we went on to Coldstone for ice cream. Doug wore a cute pink something on his head, held Katie's purse, and ordered a coffee. We hit up Barnes & Noble, then went on to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith. I liked it. Good movie.

Today, I worked, then ...then I was reminded how some people are too lazy to pick up the phone, so we spent the evening at Wal-Mart (cause I need to start shopping for school stuff), then watching Life here. Tomorrow I hope to rest up a bit, and over the next week (which incorporates the Farm Show) I intend to prepare myself for what's ahead. This is also my only week off, and I intend to have some fun.

*whew* sorry. Normally I write some lyrics here too, but luckily for you I've been listening to techno (yeah, techno, got a problem with it? Go blow your nose) so there are no lyrics for you to not read. Well, time for sleepin'

For Love
For Love and for Peace

Sparkle and Fade

2005-07-05T01:37:00.000-04:00

Ooooookay, when was the last time I left a scratch here...half a month ago? Jeez...

Yeah, a little busy, but certainly not busy enough to not update this baby.

K-Mart I can get over quickly enough. It's work. Blah blah blah. Blah.

Life? Life is too long & difficult & I'm soooooo glad God's working things. So bring on the last day of my life when I can look back & say "Ah, it's worth it." The Geneva aspect is coming & I retain my laziness and work slowly against the inevitable change. I am looking forward to it though, & will continue my involvment at Calvary. Which, by the way, I still need to become a member of.

Anything beyond that really, is just God improving me. Yeah, same old same old. Lol, but it's exciting. Like leveling up in Diablo. I get new skills & more endurance & stuff. Yay! And it really is exciting. Like, wow! You see yourself growing, and if you're lucky you even get to see some people you've influenced over time.

Thyme...thyme smells good by the way. It's an herb. Or a spice, I'm not really sure which.

So, that's it. That's it for now anyway. Maybe I'll be more specific. Yay.

Love & Peace

Reciprocation Dies

2005-06-19T01:34:00.000-04:00

Well now, things have been somewhat busy believe it or not. I've been working quite a bit & keeping up with the church activities has been fun. The recent news is that I've been accepted to Geneva, and with my transfer stuff I'm a junior. I plan on staying there for now, so that should be interesting.

Which ever so neatly brings me to my current frustration. I was excited to have more people come home from college. I was looking forward to hanging out again and having fun & all that jazz. What kind of kills the fun is constantly hearing various of them saying they miss being at school and the people there and ugh. It's very frustrating to hear that they'd rather be someplace else, with other people. I'm sure I probably don't fully understand, but it's somewhat painful to be reminded that your friends wish they were somewhere else.

Just another case of people growing apart I suppose. It sucks, but what can you do? Am I something just to pass time while people move on to something better? If so, I'd rather not hang out at all, cause that just sounds pathetic. Just a little frustration that's been building in me & a couple other guys.

Oh yeah, and Batman Begins was awesome. It was hard to follow cause we were in the drive-in, but the plot was more than just bad guys running around doing stupid things. Very different from the stupid Batman movies that have been coming out. The Scarecrow was a very dissapointing villain, and the batmobile has been turned into a monstrosity, but the movie was good.

May you go with God's protection

The Edge of Sanity

2005-06-04T06:43:00.000-04:00

This week has been pretty rough for a number of reasons. A lot to think about, and too much time in which to think on it. Sort of. I do have many songs that I've played throughout the week, but only a couple really hit me. I seem to play them (not listen to them, play them) when I'm feeling particularly down. Frail by Jars of Clay is the one, and You Are My Hiding Place is the other. The songs definitely have a dark tone to them, and for some reason it just feels good to express my own emotion that way. It's a different outlet...

"You are my hiding place
You always fill my soul
With songs of deliverance
Whenever I am afraid
I will trust
In You

I will trust in You
Let the weak say
'I am strong
In the strength of the Lord'

You are my hiding place
You always fill my soul
With songs of deliverance
Whenever I am afraid
I will trust
In You"

Switchfoot is also a band I listen to when it's been rough. Aaaaand I've been listening to a lot of Switchfoot.

Well, I'm going to work, it's 6:50...I'm real tired, but as long as I don't have time to think I'll be fine. And I promise, I'll get that picture site updated soon...

Love & Peace

Chapped

2005-05-31T00:33:00.000-04:00

Only Doug and Dave understand that one...

So anyway. I've been up to nothing out of the usual. Work has been busy. They've been keeping me jumping there with the Garden Shop being open for summer & all, so I have a lot to do there. I can also say that I was involved in two incidents in which crime was avoided. The first was last Monday; I helped take down a wanted criminal. Yeah, it's not as crazy as it sounds, but he did have warrants out & I held him on the ground. The next day I prevented the theft of $270 worth of golf balls. Yeah, why golf balls, I don't know, but it was prevented. Two days ago a light fixture exploded throwing sparks and a flame, and that was interesting. Nothing real exciting today though...

Church...is going better. I'm still in charge of that wednesday stuff, & it's still fun. I'm involved now with the worship group (join if you can, we need more!) for sunday evening stuff. That's changing too, Sunday evenings. And now afterglows are starting too! Wow! Mmm...that's about it there.

Anything otherwise you'd have to ask me. I don't really think there is anything worth mentioning...I need to update my picture site too...it's in need of it. I made a new cd mix for the Halo bash the other night & it rocks. It's a mix of rock & techno, so it rocks. Rocks.

Alright! Anything else? Nope. Nothing. I feel like I'm missing something. Not like, here in the blog, but in my life. I don't know what it is... who knows, maybe I'll find it. Untill then...

Love & Peace

Lamentation

2005-05-30T02:40:00.000-04:00

Alone

Spiritually I am sound
I am connected
I am more than whole

Yet

I am missing something
A different connection
I am incomplete

Waiting

Has been hard
How much longer must I wait
On something that seems so impossible

For

I have been waiting for more than 5 years
I still remain a wasteland
A callous surface with terrifying emotion lying underneath

Her

Name is unknown to me
I have tried to place it
Yet it evaporates as water from sunscorched pavement

For Eternity

Takes so long
I wrestle with my mind to forget
But my heart tags in and wins

Is It Hopeless?

Perhaps
But
I persevere

don't worry, everything is fine. Next blog will be informative, I promise

For today, just Peace
For today, there is no Love

Carson's Comedy Classics

2005-05-11T23:39:00.000-04:00

Okay, Dad and I happened to be talking while the tv was on, Dad had the remote. He flipped to a channel featuring Mork & Mindy, which was amusing cause Robin Williams is hilarious. Then Carson's Comedy Classics comes on. It was absolutely hilarious. Seriously, so I wrote down all these things from "the definition of macho." Here they are...

Being macho is shaving with a helicopter
Being macho is jogging home after your own vasectomy
Being macho is running into a brick wall with your face
Being macho is giggling through your own open-heart surgery
Being macho is reading a playboy in the dark by setting your nose hairs on fire

Okay, that last one was really hilarious, and I lost it. I don't think I got enough Carson in my life... What have I been missing!? Anyway, nothing new to report today. I don't know why It's easier to blog when the weather is nice out. Maybe there's some correlation. Well, I'm cleaning my room again here. I don't know why it's so hard for me to keep this little room clean! It's like, ah! So I'm cleaning, and tomorrow I'm working. Yay. I'll report back later with more.

Love & Peace

Getting Old

2005-05-10T02:37:00.002-04:00

Me: "Dude, you'd have to be Jesus to pull off something like that."
Brad: "Sometimes you're Jesus to someone without even knowing it."

This was how the conversation ended tonight around 1:30am. The day was good. Work sucked, but we played frisbee at Pearson & got to see some of the college gals for the first time this summer. I've been missing them, you if any of you are reading this. It's been sort of lonely around & is nice to see so many familiar faces.

After hitting up Dunkin Donuts for some cool vanilla bean action, I lost severely at monopoly at Lubinskis. Brad & I took off for his house, grabbed some concoctions, and headed for the woods. We got a fire going and started talking. It was close to eleven when we started, and after a while we noticed that there were either dogs barking, or...wolves. I've never really seen a wolf, but dang, these sounded so eerie! Really wouldn't have liked it if I was out there by myself. Heh, wolves are cool, but I woulnd't like to meet them.

So, I heard a lot tonight. A lot of truth, and when truth comes from someone else, it's either taken to heart, or thrown out as insignificant. Much of what was said was taken to heart. A kick in the pants is sometimes a good, and necessary thing. Hopefully many more of these will take place over the summer. Did I mention I'm expecting a lot of this summer? Well I am.

An ending quote from Brad, spoken years ago, and no less true today...

"Real men walk, we stumble."

Stumble onward, Love & Peace.

Reguarding Ties and Suffering

2005-05-08T22:49:00.000-04:00

*sigh* Okay... I'm just tired, so I'll update you all on what's been happening-

work
church

there ya go. Nothing new is happening. K-Mart is slowly getting worse, whether by poor managing skills or the fact that we don't have enough people. I get more hours, so that's cool, but I am getting tired of working.

Church is cool though, cause I'm growing through that. Now that college people are coming home again, and no offense to the youthers, I'm looking forward to haning out with people closer to my age. It's kind of rough at times, but I think I'm making progress with myself & stuff. Like doing lessons on wednesdays really is cool & I enjoy it a lot. I'm learning tons of stuff too, not just how to teach, but what I'm teaching. Those Love Language books are really good stuff. Soon I'll be speaking all 5 love languages, and hopefully be receptive to yours. That should be good.

Otherwise, nothing else. Nothing. Daily occurrences that I don't want to write about now, so maybe I'll post later with some.

"the day is gray outside
it's still brighter than the day would be
if I was without you..."

I'll post more later, and hopefully that'll be more positive. Honestly things aren't bad at all, the feeling isn't good though. But who can trust feelings anyway?

"...apparent darkness but the sun still shines
I just can't see it from my view
sometimes at midnight I forget it's there at all
do you suppose I do the same with you?"

that's all from Seven Day Jesus by the way. I think I need a new cd, mine's all skippy. Like the peanut butter. Wugga wugga...I don't know what that is. Take it or leave it. Crash & burn, fight or flight.

I'm long gone, so when you catch up to me we'll talk then.

Out

You Waste My Time

2005-04-20T00:01:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I go to work with a great outlook on the evening. I'm in sporting goods/toys, so that is already a plus. I like working in that dept. I'm in the back of the store, it's cool, I know mostly everything back there. Not much happens back there, and I get to play with toys! (not really...but still) So when I come in, after receiving hassle about my haircut, I was told to put the countless bikes into the rack back in the sports dept. Okay, that's not too bad. More physical work than I like when it's a nice slow night, but hey, I could probably use it anyway. So I get to work on it. I work on it for a couple of hours, with various other things mixed in with it. Then Ed the stock guy goes on break & has me cover for him.

Ed gets a call which I answer. It's a gal up at checkouts telling me that a guy wants to buy a swing set. Okay, nothing too great there, it's a pretty big box, but I can deal with that. Then she tells me "Oh, he also wants some furniture from the patio stuff." Okay, that's kind of odd, since the swing set itself is like $100, and the patio furniture isn't cheap (it's Martha Stewart stuff). So she says he wants a couple of things & to meet him up in the furniture stuff.

He doesn't want a couple of things, he wants 4, large boxes of furniture, each costing like, what? $200+? Something like that. So he's torching his money on all this stuff. So with the help from an Ed who wasn't done with his break yet and another fellow, we set to work. We make sure he has a vehicle large enough (since there are so many stupid people out there that buy some huge thing and have a volvo or something, which, by the way, is something that really gets my goat) and surprisingly he does. So we get all this going, and along with two or three other carry-outs and hassles from people, we get this guys 5 boxes of too much up to the front. I see him over there, he's being checked out now. Good, get him out of our hair, and I can get back to work. I lose focus for a bit & talk with a few people waiting, you know, just waiting, not really paying attention.

Oh, then the service desk woman comes over & says "hey, this guy doesn't want this stuff now." I'm thinking, no. You've got to be pulling my leg, or my chain, or my hair, or something! Cause there is no way I just spent more than a half hour with this guy's stuff and he just walks off!? Oh yeah, that's not quite what happened.

It seems that his credit card had a $25 thousand limit, and he'd charged like, only $10 thousand to it, but it still needed verification & all. So while the girl was calling it in and actually getting the verification numbers he decides he's waited long enough and he's going to be impatient now and leave. I was thinking, maybe there was something wrong with the card & he was doing something illegal. Nope! Everything had checked out fine! He was just a moron. That's all. So, all that was wasted. As the night ended, I finished the bikes, and only straightened one aisle out of the however many are in toys & sporting goods. Yeah. Stupid. Real stupid.

Mmmmm, after that I just came home & was attacked by a very large moth. It's amusing to other people because my parents knew it was in the house & actually watched it fly into my room. They didn't tell me, they just left it bring my doom.

That's about it. Late night watching tv and video gaming. I want to read a bit more for tomorrow before I hit the sack, but if I go to bed sooner I can wake up earlier & read then. I also "ran" with Dave yesterday & am still ridiculously sore & stiff. I need to do more of that obviously. Well, that's a blog & 3/4 for ya, so I'll leave you with a song from Audio Adrenaline. Yeah, I've been listening to them trying to make up for the concert they didn't give me.

"Sometimes I'm a liar
Sometimes I'm a fake
Sometimes I'm a hypocrite
Everybody hates
Sometimes I'm a poet
Sometimes I'm a preacher
Sometimes I watch life go by
Sitting on the bleacher

But I've never been left alone
In any problem that I've known
Even though I'm to blame
There were times when things are dark
And I've been known to miss the mark
But someone fixed my aim

Sometimes I'm a man of God
Sometimes I'm alright
Sometimes I lay down, close my eyes, and pray to God

Sometimes I don't feel good
It's hard to start the day
It's hard to climb the obstacles
That sometimes come my way
If I make it I'm a good man
Am I a bad man if I fail?
I know I'm never good enough
So I let grace prevail

Oh I've never been left alone
In any problem that I've known
Even though I'm to blame
There are times when things are dark
I've been known to miss the mark
But someone fixed my aim

Sometimes I'm a man of God
Sometimes I'm alright
Sometimes I lay down, close my eyes, and pray to God
I'm ready for the night

Right now I'm alright
Sometimes I'm alright
I'm alright
Thank God

Sometimes I'm a man of God
Sometimes I'm alright
Sometimes I lay down, close my eyes, and pray to God
I'm ready for the night."

-Man of God
Audio Adrenaline

okay, it's long, but it's a real good song. Tomorrow I finish up stuff for the lesson thing tomorrow night. I hope it'll be good. Mmm, goodnight all.

Love and Peace

Fallen Satellite

2005-04-13T03:15:00.000-04:00

'"alas my loveyou say goodbye
wipe the poison from my brow
alas my love this guilty night
it gives me up like a foster child
and in this moment I take my vow
these angels sleeping at my feet
and in this moment you do not know how
my spirit wants to flee."
One man, against the night
taking on a multitude
that had left him high and dry
no candle burning vigil
could light the way
darkness hit the ground
like a fallen satellite
he wrestled until morning
with human souls
and dark angels
and finished his work
on the third day

...remember.......'

-dc Talk

Shark in a Styrofoam Cup

2005-04-13T01:38:00.000-04:00

Mm, I'll start off with what I've been up to. Obviously there's K-Mart. That's a given. The concert was indeed amazing, though I was disappointed in the performance Audio Adrenaline gave. They were good though, and Kutless was simply fantastic! I bought one of their cds, aaaaaaaaand and shirt. Hawk Nelson was good too, and Toby Mac was better than I expected (which he could have been a singing sheet of paper to go beyond my expectations of him).

I guess one reason for writing this is I'm a little ... I dunno, there's a word for what I am, and it kind of depressed, but I'm not really negative or withdrawn. Its kind of like...brooding, but without it sounding like a big guy sitting around darkly in a bad mood.

It's strange, because (if you've noticed) I've been in a strangely... happy mood lately. That's kind of odd for me. I thought it was the weather changing, but I'm beginning to think that's not it. It's something different. Like, I don't normally use smileys when I'm talking on aim, but recently I have. A lot of cheery enthusiasm; that's not really me. I mean it feels right, and I'd say it's me now, but why the change?

I think the feeling I have now could best be called a foreboding. Like I feel something is coming that's not good, but I don't know what. My dreams lately have been pretty dark. Nothing remotely close to a good dream, all the ones I can remember are panicked and pointed. Like something bad happens, or I'm trying to prevent something bad from happening. Ask Ashley about the shark dream. That one was strange...

So what the heck am I feeling!? I'm not saying it's a bad thing either. Isn't it good to be more positive and energetic and downright cheerful most of the time? And genuinely too! Sure, there's some people that bother me, but I find that I can still be sincerely nice even then. I don't quite understand, but all I can do is stay the present course. Which, by the way, is going pretty well.

Wednesday nights are now under my control, and my control is taking us through love. I want to go through the 5 Love Languages, and am reading that book now. It's interesting really. Very interesting. I might be a better friend after I read this! Good for you! Except people whose love language is receiving gifts...you're not getting much, cause I don't have much. Sorry...but for you verbal people, and those with the love language of quality time, and acts of service, and maybe even the physical people, I might show more love towards you guys. This is that platonic love, no funny ideas you perverts.

Darn it! Another long blog. I gotta either blog more often, or...do ...something else. I dunno. Keep me in your prayers here, I'm feeling a bit confused and a lot lost. I know where I am, but the future is a very big map, and it's mostly too dim for me to get an idea as to how I line up with things. And more than that, pray for my leadership qualities. I'm not sure if I can be someone people can follow. I'm not even sure I want that. No, I'm pretty certain I don't want anyone following me; it's too much of a pain if I screw up and cause others to do the same. How can I be a "godly leader" if I'm nothing like Him? Aren't my imperfections too great and too numerous for others to follow me?

Questions like this I'm sure it's healthy to ask. Of course I'm imperfect. I also believe that the best leaders are those that have no desire to lead. Perhaps people who want to lead would be more easily distracted by the followers.

*sigh*
Well, I guess it's time for bed. Past time for bed. That's also something I've been working on recently, I need to get up earlier. I think I'm already beating back the terrifying urge to eat when I'm not hungry. I haven't really been hungry for a while. It kind of feels good to be hungry again. Food is better that way, and my pants fit better! How awesome is that!? (<--- see? My excitement here is not how I normally am. Something is going on here...)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaalrighty. If you got this far, I need to thank you; I know it's long and mostly just my babble. But it's out of my system now. That's good I suppose. And I was able to identify this strange feeling! That's good. (<--- a-ha! More positivity!)

For Love...

For Love and for Peace

Springtime Hobbit

2005-04-09T01:00:00.000-04:00

Yeah yeah, it's been a while. So what's been happening. I wrote last about the PW trip. Not much has really happened. Mostly work. I had to sub a couple of times over Easter for sound for the church, and that was interesting. Mmm, Dave & I have bought kites, and if you want to hear a good bit about kites, ask me. It's fun.

There is a concert this weekend, Audio Adrenaline and some others. It'll be good, but getting the tickets was also an amazing event. Ask me about that one too, it's hilarious. It involves a turkey, and curing some disease.

So. That's about it really. The weather has been beautiful. Seriously. I don't think I've really enjoyed spring as much as this year. It's interesting, because I really do enjoy winter. And of all the seasons, spring is my least favorite. But the wind and all, I think that's what makes it so great to me. The wind really invites you to go outside & enjoy the increasingly warm temperature. The snow melts, bringing color back to the world, which has recently been in shades of gray. Birds really start, and the little tree frogs start chirruping after dusk. Mornings are more vibrant, and evenings are more relaxing. Ice cream has more reason than just taste.

That's maybe why I've been more energetic lately. It seems like I want to go on an adventure. Let's say I'm a hobbit. I'm comfortable where I am. I can live a comfortable life, and die comfortably. But some hobbits get itchy. They crave something that they really don't know until it hits them. That's how spring makes me feel. So I take walks, read more, write a bit, and generally just be outside more. It's cool.

that's enough for one night.

Love and...Peace

This History Doesn't Repeat

2005-03-22T15:39:00.000-05:00

Well, now. Not very often have I written of things that have actually happened to me. I mean, this blog is a journal, and I should be putting in here what I'm up to right? Okay...

Last I really wrote about my own past was with the whole church dealings. And I am so glad all that is over. Yet it isn't. That was the end of the beginning I suppose. Yes, people are seriously talking about changing the constitution, and heck, that'd rock. Rock hard. And I'm all for it. So, let's continue with the talkings of my involvment with the church.

I'm more involved I guess. And will continue to be more involved as the days go by. I'm more of a leader with the youth group, and so are some other people. It's pretty exciting. I'm uh, leading & stuff now, and it's weird, but fun & educational. So yahoo! Oh, but I really should become a member. That's important. Very important.

Sooooooo....what else? Ah! I suppose some of the more exciting news (for guys anyway) is that Joe Kobialka (one of the people interested in helping out with the youth) has opened his house to us more than once for Halo 2 bashes. This is real fun & bonding in ways. Though it is still only a bunch of guys playing video games. And some girls. That's great too!

A couple of weeks ago was spring break for many of the college folk, and I got to see some of them. The most surprising one was Matt, who popped in one sunday evening for church. Good to have ol' Frodo back! Even though it was only for a week. And he went his way, and won't be seen in these parts for some time now...

Mmm, then I guess should bring us to the Planet Wisdom conference. This was interesting in many ways. I was volunteered to help run sound or something, and I wasn't clear on what it was that I'd be doing till I got there. Unfortunately for me I started off the weekend with no sleep at all! I don't know how it happened, but as I didn't get to bed till extremely late the night before, and even then couldn't sleep right up until fifteen minutes before my alarm was supposed to sound, I was really for prepared for the trip. My family arrived at the church, where Brandon & I shoveled off much of the parking lot. People came & we were even blessed with donuts! Glorious, beautiful, morning-perfect donuts!!! So we piled into the vans. I sat in a seat with Dana and Lindsey Peterson. Fun fun fun! We drew some picture, which...I STILL HAVE!!! I forgot about that until now! Hee hee, it's a good picture, with the main focus on a little animal named "Floofie-T." Ha ha. Alrighty. So lack of sleep had been working on me, and I'm faced with a more immediate problem: I cannot sleep in vehicles. This is disturbing. Though I did sleep a little, there was no real rest. Then I was able to switch seats with Brittany, who was sitting in the back. I slept the rest of the way to the hotel. Unpacking and whatnot, we finally figured out our rooms...which took way too long. But even then! This year we had so many people (31 I believe...or so) that we ended up with suites! Very nice rooms.

Anyway, after all that, I went over to the cathedral to see what I needed to do and found out that I was intedned to run a camera! I've never done that before! It was crazy! I had a headset &amp; all, & there were voices in my head directing me. It wasn't really hard or anything, just unnatural. I wasn't used to it, and to be put on the spot unnerved me. But it worked out, and things went well. I would rather not do that again though... So! By the end of the conferences, I felt like I had not really been with the group much for any connection. That was kind of depressing. Things kind of clicked a little on the last night there. A lot of the group wanted to go to the mall that is nearby, yet there were several of the group that had not returned from helping to clean up the cathedral after. Finally, after many conversations with many different people, we were on our way to the mall. We had about 45 minutes if I remember correctly...but it wasn't long. We had to eat and all too. So we didn't have much time. Mt feelings were still put out, but I was a lot more relaxed than I had felt for hours. I did get to "shop" a little, but not seriously...and not for me. Heh, blame that on me being a leader. But this brought up something terribly terrible! Spring fashions are in! This is not good for chrisian guys who are striving for purity! Anyway, what I noticed had not escaped the notice of some of the other guys that night. Something happened which I'm unsure of, but we ended up with a huge discussion that night on the styles the girls are wearing these days.

Now, I have my opinions like everyone else, and I'm pretty sure my opinion was the same as everyone else's. But the one thing that bothered me was how it was addressed. Yeah, the clothes these days for girls are getting smaller & tighter & thinner & all. That's bad, it brings the focus of the male eye places it shouldn't be going. But blah blah blah, you should know this already. My point is that it was pointed out several times and in tones that, I felt, were kind of harsh. So. Things continued to happen as I was unaware of them, and some girls were upset about things. I'm still not sure why, but I think it either worked out, or it still working out.

Having said all that, the trip was such a success! I think everyone came out of it for the better. Or something like that. And well, that was a week ago this past Sunday. A week ago today I got real sick. The kind of sick that I slept like, 14 hours & was still tired. Temperature was high, and I ate a piece of toast & drank maybe two cups of tea for about 24 hours or more. I did go to work the next day, but was thoroughly tired after. Friday I was still sick-ish, but had to practice for the church musical Sunday. I had the rest of the day to myself & pretty much slept through it. Saturday I worked 9 hours and then went straight to practice. No fun there. Well, almost no fun.

Sunday was the production in the evening (I skipped the morning services to regain health) and, aside from a complete hole in the wall thanks to "the crush," everything went well. Well, not perfect.

Monday was a bit of work, as well as today. Tomorrow I'm off, but have work to do at the church & home & church. Thursday, work then Halo 2. Going to be one of those weeks, eh? And speaking of...it's getting late & I should be in bed here.

That does bring up things that I need to work on - being in bed on time & knowing my limits with food. I think I was sick cause of my lack of sleep & I really should be getting to bed earlier & up earlier. And as for food, I lost weight last week because of not eating & my stomach must've shrunk or something. Either way, I'm not hungry much, but I still eat. Why? I'm not hungry!!! So I gotta stop that. No good can come of it.

Oh! And I had the strangest dream last night...something about eating gummis and some ritual that left me with some glowing green ooze injecting itself into my body through my hand. It was crazy... my toys started to come after me, but I had a toy sword & "killed" them. It was strange, cause I think the ooze was supposed to be bad, but I liked whatever it had done to me...and it had something to do with being under the power of Sauron from LOTR... I dunno, I woke up from that & had to pee...........sooooo, who knows.

quick quote from Blind Guardian because of that LOTR thing...

"Don't fear the eyes of the Dark Lord
Morgoth I cried
All hope is gone but I swear revenge
Hear my oath
I will take part in your damned fate."

okay all, Love & Peace

A Week with Friends

2005-03-09T01:12:00.000-05:00

This week has been very refreshing, if only to see old faces again. But right now, I'm also entertaining myself by taking Lord of the Rings personality tests.

this test proved me to be Legolas - http://www.matthewbarr.co.uk/lotr/

according to this one, I am Eomer - http://www.zovakware.com/tests/lordoftherings.htm

ha ha, I'm Gandalf in this one... http://www.lotruk.com/personalitytest/

ooh, I'm a hobbit in this one, Frodo! - http://www.geocities.com/mydigitalview/lotr_person.html

heeeeey, I'm a king now! Aragorn by name! - http://pl.atyp.us/lotr/test.php

I got a bit of a flux in this one, but both were repeats, Legolas and Frodo - http://groups.msn.com/UltimateLordoftheRings/personalitytest.msnw

another Frodo here - http://quizilla.com/users/RiverMaiden/quizzes/Lord%20of%20the%20Rings%20Personality%20Test%20(9%20results)

so I'll go with I'm either an elf or a hobbit. Frodo is kind of dark though... but that's okay. I'd prefer Legolas of course, just cause of his being an elf, but hey, I also got Aragron, Eomer, and a surprising Gandalf!

Anyway, so far it's been work, fun, & friends this week. With a smear of youth activity. Can't wait for the trip this weekend. That'll be amazingly interesting!! I'll keep you all posted.

love...love and peace

Should I Even Dare...?

2005-03-07T00:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, I don't even know why I'm going to write about this garbage in here...but so be it. It's just been bugging me.
Today's blog topic - LOVE

Okay, seriously, aside from me not having much of anything in here to write due to my lack of experience, this is such a hit and miss emotion for me that like...I dunno.

Not to say that I avoid it, I welcome it! I'm really always looking for a girlfriend. Have always been looking, but things just seem to like, work in opposition sometimes you know? Like, I've tried, I've reached for ....you know, something to reach for, but either I've missed it, it didn't want me, or I like, fell off the thing I was standing on to get whatever it was. That unreachable thing that I was reaching for.

So we try the method of waiting for God to "lead the right one to me." Well, then you end up...I dunno, not really doing any good there. Like, you can wait, but gals don't just walk up to me and say "Hey! I like you & want to get to know you." I mean, what is this, a movie?

So that doesn't work. And I'm not really the kind of guy who goes around with the "How you doin'?" line. Or even..."Hi" most of the time. I'm a timid creature...

So...what do I do? I am under the belief that it's kind of a combination. I'm sure God will put who He wants me to be with around, but he's not going to like, put a big bow on her & be like, "Hey, here she is, man." I'm sure I'll have to do my part. Which in itself I'm working on being a little more uh...enthusiastic? Is that the word? Well, I'm trying not to be as shy around new people. But then I'm also hoping I don't scare them away.

So okay, I've befriended a lovely lady, but then something else happens that often happens. I'm a friend. A good one. I'm a really great friend. Hey! That's great! But this lady isn't looking for a friend, so I'm left to watch her hook up with another guy, all the while, I'm a confidant and uh.....emotional scratchpost? for her. I don't mind as a friend, but...you know. There goes that one.

So! What now? Some of my friends are getting married, and I have yet to even have a "serious relationship." Okay, you say I'm putting too much thought into this. You say I'm wasting time, or me having a girlfriend shouldn't be a life goal. You're right. But this is one time I am getting my feelings out there. It's not really too much thought, just something I wish I could do ya know? Love someone... I mean, I love my fam, I love my friends, I love other christians. But (okay okay, stop laughing) I mean that stupid mushy gooshy love. Yeah yeah, shut up.

But seriously, it's not a major issue, it's just something that has been plagueing me for years. God has his plan, but I'm just hoping He has a fine lady in there somewhere for me. You may also notice that I don't list a "criteria" for what I look for in a girl. That's cause I don't really know what I like about certain girls till I get to know them. They're all different, why should I stick with just ...oh ...say curly hair (*wink* Hermann). But yeah, the differences are what's cool. So I try not to have a list of things I like. That way I'm not Okay, she's got nice teeth, a good smile. Hair is shiny, that's a plus. She smells like Cool Whip, hey! That's great!! You know. Stuff.

lol, Cool Whip...

So anyway, I remain single, and looking. There is also the fact that the more you're hurt by a relationship, the more reluctant you are to try for another one. That is also true, but we'll not get into that here. Is there one I'm aiming for now? Possibly, but as I see it, probably nothing will happen. Nothing ever does.

Yeah, I know, that's a terrible mindset, but that's the past. And history repeats itself. So I just have to learn from my mistakes. That way I'm not doomed to repeat them. And if I had a bird in the hand, it'd be worth two in the bush. Seriously, what does that mean!?

But okay, (wow, that's a lot actually!) I think that's about it. So the adventure continues. Dang! It's like a quest for a holy grail! Only there are grails everywhere out there, I just need to find the right one.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"You must choose, but choose wisely..." HA HAAAAAAAA. What a great example! Anyway, yeah, that quest continues. What will happen next!? God only knows...

Thanks for being uh... well thanks for reading anyway. I'll end with a quote. A love song quote, from a band only Brad knows for sure-

"If only I could tell you how much I care
Would you listen?
If only I could show you how much you do for me
Would you care?
If only I could tell you how much I think of you
Would you believe me?
If only I could show you the way I feel
Would you see?

I don't know why it's so hard for me to show you how I feel
Don't know why I can't tell you how much I care
I don't know why it's so hard for me to show you how I feel
Don't know why I can't share the joy I...

I've got to, got to show you how I feel
I've got to show you how much I care
I've got to, got to show you how I feel
I've got to share the joy I have."

-afewloosescrews

okay, guys, love and peace!!

Cold Beauty

2005-02-25T00:17:00.000-05:00

I don't think I've yet written of the beauty of winter. It just hit me today when it was snowing very nicely. There are many great things about winter, and it upsets me to hear people constantly complaining about the snow & driving conditions. Yeah, driving isn't fun, but I think it's worth it when you compare inconvenience to beauty. But lets run through the things of winter that I especially like.

First off is most definitely the snow. Snowfall is an amazing thing. When the snow falls in tiny flakes it has a ... a "dainty" feel to it. Like the snow is being very careful about how it falls. Get a lot of that snow & things really become nice. When the flakes are big, it gets better. Big flakes are easier to see. It's almost like seeing the air. You can see in depth. Look up against a grey sky, and it seems as though the snow is just appearing a few feet in front of you. When seen from a black sky, the snowflakes appear to come from miles away. Snowfall in woods is even a much greater beauty. And then, once the snow falls it rests on the ground, the trees. It muffles landscapes giving everything smooth edges and melds things together. A field covered in snow is so ...pure!

A different sort of beauty is the cold itself. There is no greater feeling than being outside in the freezing cold then coming back inside. It also really helps if there is a fire. And oh! Sometimes it just feels good to get all bundled up and go sledding or something. Even just shopping.

Which brings me to point #3. CHRISTMAS!!! Nothing helps winter be winter but the whole spirit of christmas! And not just the birth of Christ, but what we've turned it into these days. It really is the most exciting of holidays. You can't go anywhere without getting into christmasy things. Music, decorations, stores, clothes, ahhhh! FOOD!

So there. Winter is awesome. But today was one of those days where I went out on the deck and just stood there, watching...listening...enjoying. Really beautiful. Good to do that sometimes. Especially on days like that. Days like today. Even now, in the dead of night, things are so much lighter with the snow laying about. You could go out there, and walk around and see everything perfectly. You could just lay in the snow, watching it fall on you, covering you.

Love and... ...Peace

Dwarfs and Rainbow Sherbet

2005-02-24T01:40:00.000-05:00

okay, I had neglected this blog for so long. Sorry about that. But there are two things that I need to write about, just to get them out there on "paper," and because they're on scraps of paper I won't let myself throw away till I write them down here.

The first is a little dwarf-man I saw at K-Mart ages ago. Seriously, he was short. There ya go, he's either a hobbit, or a dwarf. He could be a goblin, but hey, he wasn't ugly or drooling or anything. He did have the beard. It wasn't a beard like I have, or like, a ZZ Top beard. Nor was it a Gandalf the Grey beard. It was a dwarf beard. Fluffy, yet trimmed and not wild and crazy. Top those two things off with the fact that he's the only person I've met to actually have "beady eyes." Yessir, his eyes twinkled & were set back in his face. It was interesting... but there ya go! Dwarves do exsist!

The second thing I have to write about is a couple of old ladies. The younger of the two was still old. Like, not midle aged like my parents, but old... Like a grandmother or a great aunt or something. And you can imagine now how old the other was. Ooooolllllllllllllldddddd! That's how old! The younger comes to me and asked if we had something I knew we didn't. That was easy, but I remember it being something really odd. Then this little old lady askes if we have any Rainbow Sherbet. ......

We don't even sell ice cream okay? So, I start thinking..."Uhmm, no we don't. We don't even have ice cream. Gee, we dont' even have freezers outsuide of the ones with the pizzas! Sorry, no we don't have sherbet at all..." Then she kind of snaps back to reality and says "Oh no! Not Rainbow Sherbet! It's the name of a band!"

Okay...I've never heard of them...but who knows. There probably is a band out there called that, so I went and checked. After looking around a bit, I started back saying that we didn't have any cd by that band, when the younger called out, "Hey! It's not Rainbow Sherbet! The band she's looking for is Good Charlotte! Rainbow sherbet is a color of yarn she's looking for!!"

...we don't sell yarn. So that was ended easily enough. But they didn't leave. They went on to tell me how nice I was and how great of a person I am and how pleasant I had been with them and I must really work well at a place like this and on and on. Well, I was uncomfortable, cause I'm not used to being praised like that ya know? But it was reassurring to hear good reports ya know?

Is that it? Yeah, that's about it. Things are crazy with the Slacks living here (Charles was here for a couple of weeks) and Dad just becoming Pastor. I may have more to post concerning myself, but I'll leave that until it happens. If it happens.

Happy Hunting everyone!

-oh! And as for a quote...

Upon the hearth the fire is red,
Beneath the roof there is a bed;
But not yet weary are our feet,
Still round the corner we may meet
A sudden tree or standing stone
That none have seen but we alone
Tree and flower and leaf and grass,
Let them pass! Let them pass!
Hill and water under sky,
Pass them by! Pass them by!

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate,
And though we pass them by today,
Tomorrow we may come this way
And take the hidden paths that run
Towards the Moon or to the Sun.
Apple, thorn, and nut and sloe,
Let them go! Let them go!
Sand and stone and pool and dell,
Fare you well! Fare you well!

Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.
Then world behind and home ahead,
We'll wonder back to home and bed.
Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,
Away shall fade! Away shall fade!
Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,
And then to bed! And then to bed!

As sang by Frodo in the book, the Fellowship of the Rings

I particularly like this song. It's very...complete ya know? Even though Pippin sings parts of the last verse in the movie, it's not complete. I wonder how it would be sung...

Goodnight.

May your wandering feet find their bed tonight.

Our Spork in the Road

2005-01-31T10:24:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so the vote was cast yesterday. And for all you people that read the last blog and have yet to recieve word about anything in that area he got it! 75% for Chuck to be Pastor Chuck. How about it? Alright. That's all. It's 10-ish in the morning & I didn't get much sleep last night. I have an appointment today with Mom, and I'm waiting for that. Later!

Are We a Church Or a Constitution?

2005-01-30T01:28:00.000-05:00

"Self-protection: The means of protecting one's self. People expose the weaknesses which pain them and thus form a group. Before they know it they begin to exclude those who are not one of them. But what becomes of those who had been excluded?

I smiled at the children who lived in a tight group, in their rickety house. Sure, let's live today, let's live tomorrow, and let's live the day after that. Even if it means living in eternal pain."
-Vash T.S.

Well... what prompted me to write this today was the so called "question and answer" meeting that was held at the church tonight. It was intended to be a preliminary meeting so that the congregation could ask Dad questions about the possibility of him becoming pastor. Though that was accomplished, more was done than simple conversation.

I'd say I was glad that I had gone. I wanted to really know how the rest of the church felt about Dad possibly benig the real true pastor for a change. And well, I got more than I had intended. I got to see the ugly face of not just Calvary, but many churches. This otherwise shadowed feature is a terrifying thing to witness. It's the introduction of politics into our church. Selfish gain into selfless religion.

I'd say it was also good that I had gone, until now I hadn't seen this side of the church. I will not name names here, if you want my personal opinions outside of what I say here, talk to me otherwise. Yet, there were three definable groups there at the meeting tonight. There were the people who were voting for Chuck to be pastor, there were people voting agaist him, and there were people not talking at all, and just taking it in.

The questions were perfectly fine, until one member of the "not voting Chuck" group asked a question that raised some eyebrows, mine included. This member continued to ask increasingly touchy questions and even went further into raising many issues that had nothing to do with the subject of the possibility of Chuck being pastor.

People were hurt, my family for sure, and many other people in the congregation as well. The constitution was brought up. Some people are ready for a change they say. Others were flinching at the mere sound of the word "change." Either way, for a short time God was forgotten in, what I saw, a rush of certain people trying to take the future of the church into their own hands. The constitution was happy to take roll of God for a while. And, since I don't believe our constitution to be comprised only of the gospel, a lot of bad feelings were created as the people arguing continued to bluster their way through others feelings.

The sides grew together, the most together I'd ever seen the church work, as many of my father's supporters helped to diffuse and argue back points. Though it's nice to know we had some people behind dear ol' Dad, it still didn't help the situation, and it wasn't until a few people called out the fact that we were off subject till we got back on subject.

Well, by the end, I was kind of put off by the whole fact that the select few against Chuck were so irritatingly stupid (all in my opinion of course) and naive about the future of our church that I was irate by the end and hoping I never grow up to hold on so tightly to tradition that it impedes the movement of an entire church body.

Having said all that, Chuck handled everything so well that even the people against him were made to look somewhat pathetic in their petty squabbles about who knows what. I got to see the dirty side of how a church operates and, upset as I am, am glad that I was able to see the true side of people. It's refreshing.

What will happen tomorrow? I dunno.....it's going to be rough either way, but God's will will be done, and that's all that matters. So....

What have I been up to? Nothing really. Went bowling tonight with Dave, Chelsea, and Jared at a place out in Boardman, and then Dave & I played air hockey (Dave sent the puck off the board 9 or so times) and Dave won. Came home, ate food, started working on this thang.

*sigh* With the vote tomorrow, I'm a little anxious, but I will sleep tonight. I will get up, go to church, then go to work hopefully as if nothing is out of place. I will find out how the vote went, and all will be as it will be. I would like to believe my faith in God is that strong, so may tomorrow come swiftly!

Oh yeah, and to all those who don't know, there is a mouse somewhere in this house. It was in the basement, so maybe it shares the bed with me....that'd be creepy........ Anyway, it should be dead soon, cause we've set some traps.

Yay! Okay, Love & Peace!

God's Will Be Done!!

P.S. - please pray for God's will to be done here, whatever that be. It is so important!

Smells Like Raw Vegetables

2005-01-17T13:55:00.000-05:00

Okay, when Christmas comes, people get nuts. When people get nuts, they don't think about what they're saying... but what happens after Christmas? Well, after Christmas some strange people come out. These strange people...well......give me a chuckle, after the fact. So that's what leads to this, and I'll even throw in my own commentary on my thoughs on that quote at that time. Blah blah blah.

We'll start off with the jelly lady. I was working on something when I was stopped by a couple of older ladies looking for jelly. So okay, I do this all the time. There is it, right there in that squeeze bottle. Well they "didn't want that crap in the squeeze bottle." So I figured she would go somewhere else. But no, she turned to her friend and said "we have to find that jelly lady." Ooooooookay, that's...interesting. So I went back to my whatever. A few minutes later, that lady comes past muttering "jelly lady...gotta find that jelly lady. The jelly lady the jelly lady..."

Yeah, strange. Next, there's this guy. He comes at another lady I work with, and says in this crazy broken voice "Miss! I need help! I'm lookin for termal underwear! For me!!" I laughed. He really did say "termal underwear." Yup.

So, strange people. Another guy asks me "Do you accept check from out of town?" No. We are New Castle elite. Only people from this city can use their checks here. Check cards are a little different, but we only accept those from California. Geez...

The other two notes I have ... I don't really understand them. One is just "Hey kid!" and another about someone smelling like raw vegetables. Obviously the vegetable thing is kind of obvious. I wasn't really laughing about that one, just amused at how someone could smell like raw vegetables. As for the "hey kid," I really get bothered when someone adresses me as an inferior. I'm real likely to be curt, and a lot less freindly with you if you do that. I'm sure I was with him too.

Oooookay. That's all I have. Later!

The Towel of Terrible

2005-01-17T13:38:00.000-05:00

So... yeah. Went to a Steelers game satyrday. Quite interesting. I was so awesomely amazed that I was able to go. It was so seriously amazing. First, I get to go with Ben, who is a great guy! Ha haaaaaaa! Then we pull into the Iron City, and immediately smell all the tailgating food. Soooooo good. So we get in, wait an hour, then watch the game. Such a good yet simultaneously bad game. To my belief, nobody deserved to win that game. Both teams played...not well. But it was still great! Drunk fanatics running the border of fighting the Jets fans. Great stuff. Oh yeah. Then afterward, Ben & I saw a SWAT team. That was awesome.

So, that was saturday. Sunday? Work. Today? Who knows, BUT THERE'S SNOW!!! I'm so happy that we finally have snow. It actually feels like winter now! Enjoy!

Love & Peace!!

After Christmas Special

2005-01-12T01:01:00.000-05:00

Well, once again I have let slide a few days without writing here. It's okay I guess, since not many people read these, but for the record, I am wanting to keep up with this thing. Anyway, it seems like I'm picking up the pieces this Season left me in. I don't really know how, but I think I felt torn apart this year. Maybe it's because I'm not really doing anything aside from working & making a bit of money, but like, mmm, I dunno. This Christmas seemed different. I dunno. Anyway, things seem to be going back to normal with a few exceptions.

As for my past few days, mostly work. I took a trip with Smitty, Brad, and Josh to Dave & Busters. We met Foster there, and I had a blast. Whee! Saturday I got up late & went ot work. Sunday, church, work. Monday, I forget when I worked, but I did something before then with somebody. Today, no work. None. Yahoo. Okay, same tomorrow, but I do have things I didn't get done today that I want to do tomorrow. Like clean. Clean clean clean. Room room room. Bang. Heh heh. Okay, maybe I'll post more later.

Love & Peace!

sigh

2005-01-07T02:38:00.000-05:00

This is a phrase I feel I use too often these days. And one I feel that I know I do too often. While Christmas is over, and the rush that goes along with it has taken away the insanity at work. I feel that I am older now, more callous and uncaring about Christmas. I did have some moments, and was able to take time, stop, think, relax. But not as much as I wanted. So that would catch you up to Christmas I guess.

Christmas itself was absolutely amazing. Not just the presents and all, and I did get some neat things, but the overall....well, just the real good stuff about Christmas. Being with family. Eating good food, in a warm, tinseled house, with good, warm, ....tinseled people. lol, yeah, okay. The downside to it was no snow. Though with the Ort Christmas being close to Erie, we got plenty of that. There was so much snow up there, it was beautiful! Just great. Add that with christmas music, great friends who happen to be related to you and also happen to be Canadian, and some really crazy family members, you get a pretty fun christmas.

So, after Christmas. You still have a bit of a rush, with the after christmas sales & returns & all. But then it's New Years Eve. And that was seriously a blast. I had so much fun that night. Thanks again to all who came & helped make it a good night.

So then what? Church that sunday, work that sunday. Monday found me in a car with Doug, Hermann, and Ashley going to PSU Main Campus, then to PSU Erie. Yay. So! Fun fun fun.

Then comes the birthday. I got up & went to work. Yeah, happy freaking birthday. Aaaaanyway, it really was decent. I got to go to church & we got through John 12! I was excited about it. Then Jaime's for Alias & fun.

That pretty much brings us to now. Now is Thursday night/Friday morning. Now is me after a terrible day of work. Now is me after a very interesting vampire movie. Now, is me, watching some stupid movies, eating the last of my birthday cake. *sigh* I don't know. Things change. I'm not really sure if I like them much, but I'm trying to make them work for me. That's the best a guy can do right? Hopefully. Well, I think I'll have time to write here more often, so I'll keep you guys posted.

Love & Peace

another day... another holi-day...

2004-12-14T01:34:00.000-05:00

Well, I wasn't excited about working for 6 hours greeting people, but it did go by somewhat quickly. Not quickly enough, but quickly. I got real itchy just from standing around for so long (not itchy as in scratchy, itchy as in stiff & wanting to run). Home, shower, then Mom killed the ham, so I was forced to go to KFC for supper. We were entertaining the Wittakers this eve, so it was an interesting supper. So yes, I was online waiting for Family Guy to come on, and Jared asked if I wanted to go bowling. Sure, I had nothing else to do. So he came & got me & we got to the alley as it closed. We went to the Beckwith's for a movie & hot chocolate. I fell asleep for a couple of minutes. Then....when the movie was over, we went home. So that brings me to here.

So...one thing I've been thinking. Why is it that people get so crazy over holidays? It's like, couples become more....involved? and shoppers get more nuts as they try to get better bargains. What is it? Sure, the snow (and might I add that it finally did snow and finally feels like winter now) is beautiful and the holiday "cheer" is invigorating and all, but it's still... Maybe I'm cynical, maybe I'm a little bitter. Maybe, I've been working too much through the holidays to really take time to be a kid again. The kid who would just sit and watch the christmas tree and just think, imagine. The kid who couldn't wait till the holiday tv programs came on so he could make cookies & decorate them & eat them. The teen who couldn't wait to hang out with his friends because it was too cold to really do anything other than ride sleds. Have I become my own Scrooge? What would be the cure? A day off? A day to revisit christmas "cheer" and shop and listen to christmas music?

I seem to be in need of something I cannot have. My days off are full of stuff. Just stuff. Christmas is in a couple of weeks...and......I am sitting here, not really caring. Who have I become...?

This world is made of...

...Love and Peace

Past Events & K-Mart Irations

2004-12-13T01:59:00.000-05:00

Okay, there was one day really that I did something other than work. We were planning to go to Boardman & shop & stuff. Unforunately I had just gotten home from work, and wasn't in a very good mood. As it turned out, we didn't have much time to actually shop. We did think that getting out pictures taken was a good idea, until we didn't get our pictures. Oh well. After that we headed out for some cheap movies. We split into two groups, one went and saw The Princess Diaries 2, and the other group saw Mr. 3000. I heard the other movie was good, but Mr. 3000 wasn't bed itself. Then we split again and some of us went home, while others went out to eat. That's pretty much how the night ended.

Okay, Christmastime seems to bring out the stupidity in people. Seriously. I ended up writing down some quotes I found myself a part of when dealing with customers.

Some lady asks me "Where are your children's books?"
I easily replied "In stationary," then ended up saying "with all the other books."

Seriously, if you were looking for books, wouldn't you look...where the books are? I would...

Then some lady called. Sometimes there is just something about people asking so many questions over the phone that it seems to me that they are shopping over the phone. That's not what I'm here for. I'm here if you need to know if we have something, not everything on your christmas list. This particular lady wanted a George Foreman grill, but she kept referring to a "double grill." Now, even though I work there, I don't know everything. Wow, believe it! So I have no idea what she means by a double grill. I did my best, and finally figured out she wanted a grill capable of grilling two hamburger patties at the same time. Here's when that conversation took a turn for the worse (I didn't think it could get any worse).
"Okay, what you're looking for is $19.99. It's on sale for $13.99."
"Is that a double grill?"

...seriously now, I was looking at our life-size inflatable elephant. Man...didn't I feel rediculous.

People are always asking for extention cords around the holidays. They are at the end of the light bulb aisle on the left side. So, that's my response when asked where they are. Yet...what can I do to help the customer out more? Example...

"It's in the lightbulb aisle," now this is when the customer looked at me like he didn't know where that was, so he got this, "it's the aisle with all the light bulbs in it."

Seriously, how else am I supposed to describe that aisle?

Okay, now, two last things that really get my goat. First off, and it's very simplistic. The one question that I've gotten more in the past few weeks than I've gotten during the summer.

"Do you work here?"

Yes, there I am, black shoes, black pants, white collared shirt, and red vest... I don't think I really need to explain further.

Last one. I'm ready to leave, have like, a half hour left to go. And here's this kid on our little scooter for the handicapped people. I'm thinking, poor kid, can't even walk or whatnot. Then as I get close to him, he jumps off the thing and runs away! Doggone it! So I went to do something and take the scooter back in a few minutes, and that little jerk gets back on the thing and starts going again! Seriously!!! So I get after him & kick him off. Like, come on, some old person is going to need that! Where has decency gone to these days? Oh yeah, did I mention all these things at K-Mart happened in one day? No wonder I'm going crazy!!!

Aaaaaalrighty, Love & Peace!

today first...

2004-12-12T02:41:00.000-05:00

Alrighty, I will start off by apologizing (if anyone acutally reads this) about how lazy I've been with this thing. Pretty much, and I will fill you in, work has been my main focus here. Especially with Christmas. I will have more on that, a certain day in Boardman, and another K-Mart bashing blog later. But we'll start off the christmas season with a blog for today.

I was asked yesterday at work if I could dress up as an elf today and hold signs. I figured, heck, I won't be working with these people inside, sure! So I show up today ready to be Elf-itized, and I'm approached by Devin. Devin doesn't normally talk to me. Devin doesn't normally talk to anyone. He's a quiet guy, so I don't really know him. So he came to me & told me I can get my coat back on cause we're going out to hold the signs. So I went out to his car & he drove us out to the five-way stop by the old BP & newer Subway by Save-A-Lot. We were there for a while, got cold & wet, then drove out to the diamond. We stayed there for a bit, got cold, wet, then drove to Wendy's by Wal-Mart. Caught a bite to eat, chased some seagulls, then stood by the road. Got very cold and wet, then came back to the store. The rest of the night I worked in seasonal. I began to not only hate people, but loathe Chritsmas because of the stupidity it produces. Maybe I'll throw in a song quote by Trans-Siberian Orchestra later on that note.

Okay. The whole thing getting me through the day was that we were going to see Ocean's 12 tonight. After we (Dave & I) met Mer & Amelia, we got our tickets & went to the posters. Charlie & the Chocolate Factory was a great sight, with Johnny Depp standing there looking all...odd. And another poster caught my eye; a movie called Robots. It's a CG film with voice talents like Drew Carrey, Mel Brooks, Hale Berry, and Robin Williams. There were more but I cant' remember them. Then the previews began. First off, the new Batman movie looks so much darker & nice than the last two did. Looks to be excellent!!! The other two movies were completely opposite ends of a spectrum. Constantine, with Keanu Reeves, is something about demons and spiritual warfare or something. Looks amazing. Then there was Be Cool, some movie with Travolta & a ton of other names that just struck me as a movie I needed to see. The movie (Ocean's 12 if you've forgotten) was absolutely amazing. It blew Ocean's 11 out of the water, and just left me way more than satisfied.

That brings me to the now. I've been sitting here for a while, trying to get wound down. Church tomorrow, and I'm as hyper as I've never been! Ahhhhhh!!!! I can't stop my fingers from moving. My mind is going so fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Okay, I'll leave more later. Later! (skip the song if you want, it got long)

"What is Christmas?
Tinseled fairytales
Day old stockings lined up in a row

What is Christmas
Could someone tell me that?
What is Christmas?
Surely, I don't know

And everywhere these lights
Who needs to color night?
Could this whole thing be planned?
I do not understand

This Christmas
Trees with colored lights
Underneath they still are only trees
Do you think that one day perhaps they might
Find that Christmas
Is kind of a disease?

Every year it's waiting for me
Waiting for me
Every year it constantly defies
Placing strangers
There before me
There before me
Spreading hope and cheer
Mixed in with happiness
Fraternal bliss and other Christmas lies!

And there's one more thing that I have discovered
And I would now like you to know
The reason for Christmas I now realize
Is an excuse to tolerate snow
Snow!
I don't even like the sound of it
Anyway, where was I
Oh, yes!

What is Christmas?
Candles everywhere
A fire hazard any other day
Children light them
No one seems to care
All for Christmas

Every year it returns here
And every year it's waiting for me
Why can't Christmas disappear
And just pretend it never saw me
Every year I get my hopes up
That it will somehow just leave
But every year I wake to find
That once again it now is Christmas
Eve"

What is Christmas
Trans-Siberian Orchestra

For Love

For Love and for Peace

Weekend Away From You

2004-11-30T01:27:00.000-05:00

Okay, sorry about not being more recent here, but this should cover the weekend. I wrote these while in the camp up in Marrienville. Enjoy!

Thursday – November 25 – Thanksgiving – Doom-Mart

Well, for some reason another guy at work wanted to switch hours with me today. So he ended up working my 9 hours from 12-9, and I took his 1-4. I was really able to enjoy the day itself too. Not only the dinners I ate, but at the end of the day I was able to see some of the friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. It was fun! Seriously, I’m sorry that I wasn’t around this weekend to be with you guys, but I really do need this break.

So! I was working my fine three hours and a guy who works at the camera department was talking with me for the duration. He is really a funny guy. Like, we started talking about how customers are like cattle & they follow one person like a herd. So, theoretically, couldn’t you have one person run into a pit and the rest would follow? That gave us an idea. Instead of having sale items available for everyone, we need to have merchandise on a pedestal in the middle of a pit. That way the customers have to work for their sales. It really was a fun idea that took off and kept us entertained for the better part of a half-hour. We call this new store “Doom-Mart.” “Hello, welcome to Doom-Mart, how may we kill you?” The door greeter would be dressed as an executioner. The toy department would double as the weapons department, and we would have random trap doors at the checkouts. And of course, a track will be installed for the “Indiana Jones” boulder that rolls throughout the store.

So this day was awesome, and ended with you all. It was a real good day.

Friday – November 26 – Black Day

Well, unfortunately I didn’t get much sleep last night, so I woke up all blaugh and hating work. Then I got a surprise visit from Matt, Doug, Hermann, and Jenette! That was a fun way to start the day. Not surprisingly they day took a terrible turn to the bad. K-Mart was scary, and the customers were possessed. I was able to make it through though, and even though I wasn’t in a real great mood, I was able to come home & get ready for the weekend. Oh, it is such a needed weekend. Of course, things are different, and I don’t know exactly how relaxing it’s going to be, but it will be good.

Saturday – November 27 – Rediscover the Inner Elf

We went spotting. Didn’t see a single deer. Anyway, we got back & went to bed. It was probably the earliest I’ve been to bed in a long time, about 11-12. Somewhere in there. So everyone got me up earlier than I like to get up too. It was like, 8-something, and I was the last one out of bed! Wow! Anyway, we ate breakfast and I proceeded to work on my John Bible study. I was able to get a lot done.

We ended up going out and raking/blowing leaves. It was then I realized how ridiculous the idea of blowing leaves is. All you’re doing is blowing them. That’s it. They just blow around. I felt like I was chasing the same leaves around the camp trying to get them into the woods. But there is a technique that I had to learn to do it right. And yeah, it does work. Whee! So I had some fun there. Brandon & Dad had gone out to hunt small game (grouse/pheasant) and came back when we were about done with the leaves.

Lunch time! Then I got in a small nap before going out for water. Upon returning, Brandon & Dad were getting ready to go out again & I went with them. Although they didn’t shoot anything, I was able to get a lot of shots with the camera! Wahhoooo!! I love the woods out here so much. It’s so different between the summer/fall/winter/spring seasons that it’s always a different experience coming out. Like, you can look into the woods and see the tree trunks. Then after a point, they all meld together and simply look like a gray backdrop. That’s one of the great parts about the season. The other is the snow. Although we don’t have any snow left, there was a bit of snow yesterday. Just enough to cover the ground. Anywhoo, we saw 41/2 deer. I saw two when we were at the new beaver dam, and two more when we were almost home (these were too far off & it was only by chance that I was using the binocs to see em). The half comes in right around the beaver dam. We saw a bunch of fur scattered around, then Brandon pointed out a leg. Then he went on to find another leg. Then the jaw, and finally the spine & last two legs. Very odd. But we did make our way back to camp without seeing anything else.

Suppertime! Before supper though I had managed to complete another chapter in John that I hadn’t done before. That’s two chapters in one day! Why can’t I do this at home??? Now it’s after supper, the guys are sitting around reading or watching tv. Or working on the computer, heh. Oh, Katie is with us, the other women are cleaning up after supper. Mmmmm. So! Tomorrow, more food, walking, and finally the return trip home for the Halo 2 shindig. I can’t even wait to get back to sleep again tonight! I sleep so much better up here than I do at home. I don’t know why, but ahhhhh, it’s so relaxing! Anyway, if I write more tonight, I’ll write more tonight, but for now I’m going to work on that book!

Oh, by the way. The moon tonight is soooo full and creepy looking with all the clouds around it. Very nice night.
Aaalllllllllrighty. We chilled for a while, then got together and played …what’s it called? Mexican Train? Anyway you play it with dominoes. It’s fun. So that’s the day. Except anything that happens between now & bed. Not much. Okay, good night bloggers! Tomorrow morning, MORE FOOD!

Sunday – November 28 – Last Day From Home

Well, Brandon & I had some good chuckles at all the older folks snoring like mad last night. After that, I slept well, but woke up with a headache. Ugh. In the past I was able to sleep in however long I wanted to. This year though, they made a bigger fuss about me sleeping, but this morning even though I was still the last one out of bed, they started eating without me. Why would they make a big deal about it if they were going to eat without me anyway!? Why couldn’t I just sleep? Ah well.

It was raining a lot too last night. So a walk today would be interesting. Hopefully we get one in before we go home. If not, it’s okay. Okay! More later.

Burlap Fashions

2004-11-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, I am not one to jugde fashion, yet yesterday when Mom & I were shopping she pointed out a new fshion to me. Women's suit jackets - that look like horrid rainbow burlap sacks. That's about as close as I can come to defining it. The stitching is all big & rough looking, and the edges are sometimes frayed. But always the color is...different. It just looks like they're big sacks! I don't know if that's supposed to be good-looking, or purposely blah. I dunno, just keep an eye out for them. I think they're ....ugh. As a famous comedian said, "Things that make you go 'bluhhh'"

Love & Peace

Melancholy Feelings

2004-11-18T02:44:00.000-05:00

Okay, I will put one more quote in here, and if you guys get interested about this stuff, I'll let you listen to some of it, cause the lyrics can't give you the feel of this stuff...
...either that or I'm just in the right mood for this kind of music.

"(can't understand this line, something about a sleigh ride)
You are good, you are kind
And the magic book defined
To be young and in love
Is a gift laced in gold
All the years have made me scared
Just give me something to share

Oh what can I do
When you break my heart in two?
Oh what can I feel
When you break my heart in pieces?

Better bees than bears
Is what you used to say
As their pollen fill the air
And the junebugs would sing
We made sun colored rings
And I'd kiss you in the trees
And you said you'd never leave

Oh what can I do
When you break my heart in two?
Oh what can I feel
When you break my heart in pieces?"

The North Sea

2004-11-18T01:27:00.000-05:00

"It's cold outside
You brave the ice
To make your way
Down to the shore
No ships in view
But you sink slowly with the moon...

Come back to me
From the North Sea"

-Joy Electric

Okay, I haven't listened to some of this stuff in a long while, and while Joy Electric is technically a techno band, they put out one album that wasn't. It was strings and piano and ended up very melancholy sounding and perfect to end the day today. But lets get you an update on me the past few days.

After the 9 hour days of K-Mart, I got to go to Katie's house & just simply unwind and relax a little. Sunday led me to church. That was good. Jake Blank and Jeff Berg played a ram's horn, and it really does sound awesome. Jake said (for Jews) it is supposed to pierce the soul. I can see how people get that image though, it really was neat, and I can only imagine what it'd be like under the right circumstances. It did give me the chills though. Very awesome. In the evening we had yet another prayer gathering. This one was a lot more impacting for me compared to the rest of them. The youth split and dispersed themselves among the older folk. I was had a group, then noticed Mom & Dad over by themselves. I went to join them, and by the time we were sharing prayer requests, my grandparents came over. The we had Pete Peterson, Mrs. Houk, and if I forgot someone else...I can't remember...but I think that was it.

But it really is amazing to get right in there & pray with those kinds of people. Cause when you get into it, we're all the same there. People needing God and talking with him. But anyway we went to Jason's house after for some Halo 2 action. Monday found me laying around then working at K-Mart, the same tuesday. Only Tuesday had a very special twist. I went out to help a couple from the church rake leaves & get them out of the yard. Now, I recieved 3 payments for this. The first was the awesomeness of jumping into the piles of leaves. Ah, just great! The second was money (of course) and thirdly was half a loaf of banana bread! Whee!!!

Today I went out shopping with Mom & I finally found the elusive black work pants!!! Ha haaaaa! Anyway, church again! That's twice in one week!!! Now the day is over, and I am finally able to savor the moodiness of the weather that's out there. Very gray and just...dreary. This music has the perfect qualities to be just mellow enough to caress the moodiness that set in through the day. And with that, I will leave a final two quotes; one from a short story I read earlier this week, and another song from Joy Electric. Have yourselves a good night all. Enjoy the time that's been given to you. Take advantage of the situations you are in. Savor the moment.

"When we pursure shadows, we are destined to find the darkness."

"The girl from Rosewood Lane
How I miss and love her
The girl from Rosewood Lane
Is there hope without her?

My dreams keep you
Wrapped inside my lonely world
Locked away I keep you
In a secret place for us

The girl from Rosewood Lane
How I miss and love her
The girl from Rosewood Lane
Is there hope without her?

And time will tear us apart
Words can't heal the anguish
And time has torn us apart
Don't forget the begninning times"

Love & Peace.

Most Likely To Succeed

2004-11-16T14:41:00.000-05:00

"Do what you do when you say what you want to say, with or without reguard for me. Scheme what you scheme when you're thinking of yourself, you're the most likely to succeed. The yearbook said that you'd be another winner, you forgot what success should mean. The poster child for becoming homeless, Mr. Most Likely to Succeed."

-Five Iron Frenzy

I'll update more later. Later~!

Worlds Apart

2004-11-11T01:00:00.000-05:00

I am the only one to blame for this

Somehow it all ends up the same

Soaring on the wings of selfish pride

I flew too high and like Icharus I

With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love, to give and die
To turn away and not become
Another nail to peirce the skin of one who loves
More deeply than the oceans, more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache
Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart

To need you - I am on my knees

To love you - take my world apart

To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amogst remains of a life I shoud not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me

All I am for all you are

Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

'Tis the season...

2004-11-10T22:54:00.000-05:00

I've got a question. Why is it that when people don't know something, it's beyond them to try and figure it out themselves? I mean, okay, if I didn't know the price of something I wanted to buy, I'd try to find the price. What would an employee do anyway? It's not like they automatically know the price of things...wouldn't I try and find out the price if it was that important? And if I wanted to know about something, wouldn't I read about it on the container it's in? My major problem tonight is that this woman wouldn't stop asking rediculous questions about X-Box controllers. She'd pull a controller off of a hook labeled $29.99. "How much is this?" Well...you just pulled it off this hook..... She pulls one off of a $17.99 hook, "How much is this one?" Weeeellllllllllll....if you just pulled it from that hook there.... "Why are these so expensive?" Oh yeah, I did that on purpose just so you'd ask me more REDICULOUS QUESTIONS!!! Jeez, seriously! You think I want things to be so expensive? Life would be a lot more fun if things were as cheap as you wanted them. I mean, what, you expected a wireless controller to be like, $5? Gee, that'd be nice! What would the X-Box be, $50??? Wouldn't that be something? Then she asks if there's anything else that we have? Well, yeah, I didn't want to tell you, but we have a SeCrEt StOcK rOoM full of awesome merchandise that we don't put out with everything else. Then of couse she asks if there is another store that sells more than we do. Well, no. All those specialty stores out there, and not ONE of them has more than some rediculous store in the Lawrence Village Plaza of New Castle.

Ugh...anyway, some people just need to either learn to be less irritating, grow some brains, or just not shop for things they don't know anything about. Or just don't shop at K-Mart. I dunno. Another 9 hours of it tomorrow, and another the day after that, and yet another 9 after that. It's going to be a long week if the customers all like this... Ah well, such is life.

May you go with God's protection...
...oh, and thanks for the apple.

Found Wisdom

2004-11-10T02:17:00.000-05:00

I believe this was a quote from Bill Standridge a couple of weeks back. I had written this down cause I thought it was so good, but forgot it was here until now, when I was going to throw it out.

"It's satanic salvation. Because if it's not God's salvation, whose salvation is it?"

I just think that's a great quote. Anyway, yahoo & fire in the hole!!!

All Shall Fade

2004-11-09T22:25:00.000-05:00

"Home is behind
The world ahead
And there are many paths to tread
Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
All shall fade, all shall fade."

-Peregrin Took

I just like this song that Pippin sang during Return of the King. It just has a lot of meaning I suppose.
Today was pretty interesting. I got up, layed around, ate lunch, wrote for a while, then went out with Hermann to do things. Got back, ate food, watched tv, played a game, then here I am...and only at 10:30! With the days becoming shorter, it's very strange getting accustomed again to the earlier darkness. Though I like it, it makes it feel like it's soooo late, but it's only 10!

Alright guys. That's all from today.

Love & Peace

Take 2

2004-11-09T13:57:00.000-05:00

I tried to do this earlier, but something happened and I couldn't post it. So. Here's what I've been up to...

Thursday Oct 28 -
basically all I did here was work. It was 10-7, so that was right in the middle of the day... blahhh

Friday Oct 29 -
this day was spent mostly preparing for the "party." The party itself was uhh, educational for me. I doubt I'll do something like that again in the near future...without much more planning anyway. Bah! It was fun though.

Saturday Oct 30 -
Um, I believe I worked, then came home & took a nap, then went to the church to help hand out candy. That was fun.

Sunday Oct 31 -
Worked...in costume!!! That was pretty much all.

Monday Nov 1 -
Work I believe

Tuesday Nov 2 -
Work. Then voting. Then home. Pretty much it. Stayed up to try and see what the outcome was....aaaaaaaand, then I went to bed.

Wednesday Nov 3 -
I didn't work, but I have no recollection of what I did... Church though!

Thursday Nov 4 -
I did work.

Friday Nov 5 -
Mmmm, Hermann & I picked up Ashley, then we went to Grove City in search of work pants again... still no luck......

Saturday Nov 6 -
Went to the church to paint. Fun fun. Then THE INCREDIBLES!!!!!! Seriously, it was amazing. Go see it.

Sunday Nov 7 -
Got to go to church!!! And I was joined by Ashley and Amelia! That was cool. And then Mom, Dad, & I went to the Robbs for dinner. Then home, then nap, then work.

Monday Nov 8 -
Work. Sort of. I was able to have fun & relax & set up some icicle lights with Dad. Work sucked. Blah blah blah!

Today!!!
I don't know really. I need to eat...LOL, later!

Forgotten Quote

2004-11-06T02:09:00.000-05:00

I forgot to add this is yesterday's quote stuff. It was one between me and a guy that went through my line at K-Mart the other day...

He: I can see you're a man who laughs at destiny. HA HA HA!
Me: ...not much destiny at K-Mart...
He: Not much destiny in New Castle. Reminds me of the morgue at Allegheny

Many Quotes

2004-11-05T01:34:00.000-05:00

First, a song by Jars of Clay - Can't Erase It

"Follow the crowd and love everybody now
'Cause love is the best thing for you now
But you've changed your mind, you let everybody down
But down is the best place for you
It's easier that way, you know it's

So wrong, can't embrace it
Wish sometimes for any other you
But you can't erase it, and you won't escape it

Don't waste your time
Your words only confine you
To all of the things you've buried now
Don't ask them why
Their wisdom will leave you blind
But blind is the best thing for you
It's easier I know, you know it's

So wrong, can't embrace it
Wish sometimes for any other you
But you can't erase it, and you won't escape it

How long will you face it
Till the wait comes crashing down on you
'Cause you can't erase it, and you won't escape it"

aaaaand the next few are from Calvin & Hobbes...

Calvin: Bugs get on my nerves!
Calvin: The dizzy way they zip around, the high-pitched noise they make, their pesky size... Everything about them is annoying!
Hobbes: ...said the hyperactive, whiny, small child.

Calvin: After a few packs, it's like chewing a big, soggy sock! My jaws ache and I can't close my lips, so I wheeze through my open mouth and drool!
Hobbes: An orifice is an amusing thing, all right.
Calvin: Ith funny how you neffa thee gwown-upth do thith.

Calvin: Gosh, am I cool enough to chew Hyperbubble? Maybe I'm not! Maybe if you chew Hyperbubble, you become cool!
Calvin: Or maybe as you chew it, everyone assumes you're cool, so it doesn't matter if you are or not! What do you think? Should I buy some?
Hobbes: If your emotional security depends on satisfying a need you didn't have until you read the ad, go ahead.

two issues

2004-11-01T22:19:00.000-05:00

the statements made in this blog are cynical, being born of days spent with stupid people at the workplace. Sorry if you're one of those stupid people, I hope you learn from my knowlege, and don't tell me you were one of the people I'm yelling at, I'd feel bad.

first, K-Mart:

Okay, lets start with the ads. First thing that people need to realize.
- the K-Mart ad applies to more than just your local K-Mart.
Believe it or not, there are other K-Marts out there, and (this may also be hard for some of you to believe) many of them are bigger and better supplied than your New Castle Big K. Items that are shown in the ad may actually run out, because, for some reason we don't have magical shelves that restock themselves. So when you see something in the ad, it's not for you specifically. We did not print these ads specifically with you in mind. We are advertising our merchandise to everyone!!! It gets very old to hear people complain how "it's in the ad, why did you advertise something that you don't have?" And also believe that people actually buy things that *gasp* aren't on sale! Isn't it crazy!? People buy things that are regular priced! Yeah, believe it!

Point #2
- if our K-Mart were going out of business, there'd be a storewide GOING OUT OF BUSINESS sale!
Stop asking me if the store was going out of business! You'd know if it was going out of business!!! I'd tell you!! I'd be looking for another job! WE WOULDN'T BE GETTING SEASONAL ITEMS IN THAT WILL SELL THROUGH THE NEXT 3 MONTHS!!!! Yeah, after Christmas, if we wouldn't get Valentines merchandise in, then I'd worry about going out of business.

Oh, and if there are clearances, it's just items on clearance! Just cause an item is going out of our inventory doesn't mean we're closing! You know, other stores have clearances too! Do you always ask them if they're going out of business?

Okay, I think that's my major complaints about K-Mart. Those two were brought to my attention by a couple of customers today. Blah.

Second is this election. And I only have one thing...
- I can't wait until it's over!
I think it's just cause I'm older, and actually care a little about this one, but this election is really botheiring me. People make such a big deal about it! It's like, live or die, depending on who gets in. Sure I have my favorite that I'd like to see in the Big House, but really, so someone is in charge of the country that you don't like, BIG SCREAMING DEAL! You'll live. The country will live. What you should be concerned about is God. You and God, that's it. If the outcome of this election is that important to you, why aren't you out there doing so much more advertising and campaigning for God! Why aren't we all?!?

Okay, I'm done. That's all I have to rave about right now. It's pretty good I suppose, since I think this is the first blog I've used to rant about my own thoughts and feelings on my views. Or something. Anyway, this pie is good, isn't it Jenette? Yeah, I'm eating pie for Jenette, since she can't have any. So.........so so, I'll see you guys later, or talk to you later, whichever comes first.

Love & Peace.

Crystal Sky

2004-10-31T01:21:00.000-05:00

Okay, you know those nights that are just absolutely, perfectly clear? Tonight is one of those. It's just, wow. I was out in it for a bit, and just really appreciating it. Working at the post office gave me a really great appreciation for night. When you're out in it, it has it's own beauty that can't be seen in daytime.

the clouds:
There's a different light behind the clouds at night. It is definitely different than the sunlight going through the clouds. Moonlight is more silvery, colder, yet, more liquid. Really nice. The clouds, instead of being white, are dark. And instead of having a nice, clear line between cloud and sky, the clouds are lined by this silvery light. The clouds rock.

the stars:
they don't really give off their own light, but there they are, giving their own atmosphere and speaking in their own voices. I've only really been able to see a perfect night sky a few times in my life, and the one out in Montana is just amazing. You have to get away from the lights of civilization to really see the good stuff.

the moon:
the moon is the one thing that really brings out the best in the sky. Depending on what kind of moon it is, the sky is directle affected by it. It really is something amazing.

the moonlight:
Now, here's where it really get's awesome. Things look just a little spookier, yet everything takes on that beautiful silvery light. It's like, everything is bathed in this beautiful silver glow. Ah, just awesome!

CAUTION: May be hazardous to your laziness

2004-10-27T22:02:00.000-04:00

okay, Mr. Craig had called me earlier last week to see if I could help him with something. Of course I could. I went out today. First off, the drive was incredible. Perfect autumn day, blue sky, a bite in the air, leaves were all firey in color. Just real nice. So I get out to his farm, which is point 2. Farms are so neat during fall. Cause they look somewhat creepy while looking just right for a gray days, while able to bring out the beauty in the bright ones.

So I was out in it for 4 hours scraping paint off the side of his old chicken barn. It wasn't fun in the sense that I had fun working, but it was fun in the sense that it was good. Satisfying and worthwhile. And Milt Shefter was there! So that's like, two older guys in the church that I "hung out" with. Strange when you think about it.

But anyway it was just a great day to be outside and working. Physically, because tomorrow I'm at checkouts for 9 hours. That's going to really stink. Glad I got it in while I could

And to update on the par-tay, I think it's happening, but I don't know when or ....when. It'll be friday night, but...don't know times. So, I'll fill you in.

and for the quote - How Your Halo Fell by Roper

"Remember when we traded in our dreams for drabest gray
for dresses and these stupid suits and ties?
I know that you've had enough
I know that we've both grown up
but something sweet inside of you has died

I know how your halo fell
I saw you bid your heart farewell
You sealed your lips, you'd never tell
but I know how your halo fell."

Love & Peace guys

Toys in the Attic

2004-10-26T23:53:00.000-04:00

LESSON 1
Space travel log 0968. It sounds good to call bounty hunting freelance work. But all that really means is that we're self-employed. So when there's no one to hunt, we have nothing. Nothing to do, nothing to live on. Well that's all part of the life we've chosen, our destiny if you like. But when you're out of money you start thinking about quick cash.
- Jet Black

LESSON
2
Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. We decieve or we are decieved, thus we flourish or perish. Nothing good ever happened to me when I trusted others. That is the lesson.
- Faye Valentine

LES
SON
3
August 6th, Sky Day. Today Ed goes looking for the spooooooooky, mysterious, horrible alien. Lesson lesson? If you see a stranger, follow him...
- Ed

L S
E O
S 4 N
That was when I remembered everything. It was oh, one year ago. I had gotten hold of a real Ganymede rock lobster. I hid it in the fridge in the stock room so no one else would eat it. But I had forgotten about it and left it there for a whole year. I wonder what it looks like in there now? So that's the story. And what was the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge.
- Spike

Okay, sorry, I just wanted to throw those out there...ha ha. Anyway, what have I been up to lately? Wow, it's been about a week since I posted a real blog eh? Well, I worked mostly. Actually, yes, I worked every day but sunday. Sunday though, was the best day ever! I got to go to church!! I was so happy! We got to hear the Standridges speak. That was cool. Yesterday (Monday) I worked and did the same today. Tomorrow I'm off. Fun fun

Hey, let me know (anyone who reads this and will be home this weekend) what you guys think about some sort of halloween party this friday. I'd like to set one up. Let me know! Love & Peace!!

Sympathy for the Devil

2004-10-25T02:13:00.000-04:00

Spike: But you know what? This has become a world with no integrity.
Jet: What are you talking about?
Spike: Everyone's putting a lid on something that smells.
Jet: Yeah?
Spike: And we let it happen.
Jet: Could you tell me what you're talking about?
Spike: The world. What's going on in the world. With all these lids the world's going to be buried in lids.
Jet: You lost me, bud.
Spike: They keep us from seeing the truth.
Jet: Truth huh?
Spike: Yeah, it's all those lids. I"m going to crush 'em all away.
Jet: Sounds smelly.

Retrospective Future

2004-10-20T01:50:00.000-04:00

"Brian, there's a message in my Alpha-bits. It says 'ooooooooooooo'"
"Peter, those are Cheerios."

lol, you think, if only life was that funny. Well, it is, you just don't notice it. For example, when this kid came into my line the other day with his mother, he started asking me all these hilarious questions. It hit the peak when the kid asked what would happen if I didn't wear a belt. Now, can you just imagine that happening to some poor guy on a tv show? I can.

But okay, that's even something not bad. So take something terrible. Like, my computer monitor. It died on my a while ago. Now, this is distressing, because it's not even a year old. So, finally, Hermann and I took it to Best Buy to do something about it, but I forgot the receipt!!! Ah, a trip wasted! So I get the receipt and take it back. They test the thing, and tell me it's fine! Ah! Another wasted trip. They tell me that instead of worrying about my $100 monitor, I should worry about my much more expensive video card. Now, how on earth is that funny? They also told me to take it home and try something. So I did. I'm using it now.

So is life that funny? No, not all the time. But yes, some of the time. Even a lot of the time. Depends on if you have a sense of humor. And even then, what kind of humor you have. If it's like mine, you laugh at the idea that as you finish with a customer you just said "Is that all" while you put a bottle of All detergent in the cart. Lol, yes, that is all. LOL, anyway...

Now, Sunday, I woke up and went to work. Monday, I woke up and went to work. Today? I woke up and took Brandon to Best Buy, then took him back to school. Then I literally did nothing. I think I enoyed it. I also lost my John bible study book, but thankfully Mom found it. No Roper cd today, I gotta go and order it tomorrow. And Van Hellsing came out, but I haven't seen it.

Work till sunday, but nothing too crazy. 3.5 hours of being a greeter thurs...but......

Okay, this blog was kind of pointless. I have come to the conclusion that nobody who reads this really cares, or anyone that does care doesn't reads this. Either way, it's out there. So okay. Love & Peace guys.

Spackling, Bowling, and Writing Death Threats

2004-10-17T02:53:00.000-04:00

"Total slaughter, total slaughter.
I won't leave a single man alive.
La dee da dee die, genocide.
La dee da dee dud, an ocean of blood.
Let's begin the killing time."
- Vash T.S.

Well, today started pretty slow, with a MT meeting. It was cool, worked on circles of concern and planned a little for future events. Afterward we went home and Dave set to work on our drywall while I pulled together a game for the pre-bowling time.

That went well, and I learned that Dave french kissed a cow, and my mother went through the streets of New Castle in a dog outfit for cheerleader initiation. Isn't that funny!?!? Anyway, we went bowling, and it was fun. Then we went to Kings and it was even more fun. It was also a very cold day. Good for staying inside and being warm. Well, I'll end with another quote from Trigun -

"We're nothing like God.
Not only do we have limited powers,
We sometimes are driven to become the devil himself."
- Nicholas D. Wolfwood

When the machine breaks you

2004-10-16T02:47:00.000-04:00

Well, Monday I did work, the same tue, wed, and thurs. I was able to go to church wed also, so that was a major plus!!! Uhmm, thursday Hermann and I met up with Jaime & Laine, and we hung out for a bit. For some reason Hermann said we should make pies, so we planned on doing that today.

Today I woke up and kind of, did nothing for a bit, then get hold of Hermann and he came over & we prepared to get the pie stuff ready. Which means we got out the cookbook. We tried calling Jaime & Laine, but neither were there. Finally when we got hold of them, it was almost supper time and they were busy in the evening anyway. So we planned to meet at Jaime's for something. We got there, played cards, and scared children. Home again, here again. Nothing new, still things of the day that put a negative spin on it, hence tonight's title. Nothing that can really be done about that though, so... I sit here, broken, waiting to be restored to return to the fight against the machine. I believe, Jason, that this particular machine that broke me today would be a "wronk." LOL, half human, half machine. LOL, just wanted to squeeze wronk in there. Anyway, tomorrow promises to be good....even though we aren't going to Cedar Point....that's a big ol' letdown... But I'm trying not to think about it.

Bowling. Drywall? We'll see. May you go with the grace of God. Oh, and thanks for the apple...

"I'VE NEVER BEEN THE TYPE TO TURN MY BACK AND RUN.
IT'S JUST NEVER APPEALED TO ME TO BE THE SAME AS EVERYONE.
AND WHEN IT COMES TO SHOVE AND I CAN'T SEE YOU THROUGH THE BLACK,
I'M GOING TO SCREAM YOUR NAME TILL YOU COME BACK.

AND EVERY TIME I PLAY WITH FIRE, I'M GOING TO BURN, BURN, BURN UNTIL I LEARN.
AND EVERY TIME I DO IT MYSELF, I'M GOING TO HATE, HATE, HATE. IT'S TIME TO SET IT STRAIGHT.

I BURY THE SICK SIDE, I TEAR FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
I FOLLOW THE DOWNSIDE, I AM WAITING FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
I KNOW THAT YOU'LL BE HERE AND I'LL BE WAITING,
I KNOW THAT YOU'LL BE NEAR AND I'LL BE WAITING."
- DEMON HUNTER

Break the Machine

2004-10-11T01:57:00.000-04:00

Friday
All that happened today was work. It was a terrible day until I left for here, then I came out & Brad & I are hanging out. It's fun. Well, that's all really, I'll add more to this at the end of the weekend.

Sunday
Okay, as for the rest of the weekend, we had a fun blackout that drove us away from the fun video games and such, so we went out to Wal-Mart. After that it was pretty much bed time. The next day Brad showed me a more extensive look at the city of Indiana, yeah, nothing big... More video games & movies that night. Then we woke up, ate a bite, and drove home for...

ROPER! The concert was a blast. We got to see Brittany too! Unfortunately, she had too much work so she couldn't go to the concert... too bad....... Well, Roper really was fun, they kept throwing "Sweet Dreams" around all the time, and they finally sang a bit of it. They also played "Handbook for the Sellout," a great FIF song. Afterword, Brad was able to interview Reese, and I was privileged enough to hold the camera!!! Ahh!!! Anyway, the crew that was there tonight was myself, Brad, Ashley, Foster, Laine, & Justin. We went to Eat & Park afterward. More fun there. I'm just punching this all out before I go to bed, I'm tired, and I have work tomorrow. Alrighty guys, Love & Peace!

Murder Machine

2004-10-07T02:18:00.000-04:00

Wolfwood: "Well I'll be. I'm actually surprised that you can smile like that."
Vash: "Huh? What do you mean?"
Wolfwood: "You had me kind of worried. I noticed that you always smile and seem really freindly, but the way you smiled was so empty it hurt to watch you. You're hurting like crazy on the inside, yet you grin and bear it. At least that's this man's opinion anyway..."

A quote I remembered this week. Obviously it's from Trigun. But I was thinking about it, and working at K-Mart kind of gives you this kind of smile. It's hard to tell anymore whether I'm actually smiling or if it's empty. Well anyway, I ran into another crazy toy tonight. Though unlike the Boobah, which is evil incarnate, it is crude humor. It's called a Fart Dart. It's a sort of Nerf toy that not only shoots foam darts, but makes a farting sound when it does. What's the connection? Who knows, but I'm sure some little kids out there are having a blast. Lol, it's almost a pun there, eh?

Anyway, don't worry about the empty smile. Just let me know if you catch me doing it. Since it's getting closer to christmas things are going to heat up in my life. And my empty smile will be coming in quite handy. Well, I also kept the name of the Trigun episode for today's blog. Kind of fitting, since society molds us into machines of sorts. When dealing with stupid people only concerned with money, murder is one thing on the mind. Plus, it has a ring ya know?

And another set of quotes from Reese Roper, lead singer of former Five Iron Frenzy, now the singer for a new band called Roper. They're playing at Grove City this sunday if anyone wants to go. Brad and I are going. You can hear some of their music at www.roperisdumb.com. Here's they are:

"So this song is called Amplify. Uhh, it's about amplifying..."
"Also, this is another song, it's called You're With Stupid because you are! Or somebody with you is. Yeah."
"This song is called Quicksilver. Uh quicksilver is another name for mercury, which is not what this song is about. Well kind of, it's a metaphor. It's about...things...that you like...more than Jesus...which is bad...check it out."
"Hey kids. I call you kids because you are. You're small goats. This song is called Hello Lamewads. It's a new anthem about being lame, and also being a wad and saying 'hello!'"
-Reese

Alrighty, let me know if you're interested in seeing such a crazy fun band. Really, they will be good, because FIF was fun in concert, and I'm sure Roper will be too, cause they are new.

Love & Peace, the Vash the Stampede kind. So kind of do the peace sign with your fingers, but cross them...so it kind of looks like an X. Then go around saying "Love and Peace!" while holding out your crossed peace fingers. That's the Vash the Stampede kind of Love & Peace.

I'm slipping!

2004-10-06T01:08:00.000-04:00

"In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is King"
-a guy from Minority Report

I'm sorry guys, I haven't been keeping a good handle on this thing. ...of course I don't know how many of you actually read this thing, that's why I've not written in it much. So what have I been doing since...well, since last week actually. I got to hang out with some friends friday night, and even more saturday & saturday night. I didn't get up for church though, sunday, and went to work straight from there. Monday I worked. Well, to elaborate, sunday night I had one wicked headache, and was kept up for a while that night, woke up the next morning with the same headache. Oh well, do what needs done when it needs done, eh?

Anyway, today I went to Boardman to return the broken computer monitor, but I left the receipt here...oops, another trip is needed tomorrow I suppose. So that's it. And another reason why I haven't written much, there isn't much going on. A lot of K-Mart, but hey that's what I want right? Right?? RIGHT???

Aaahhhhh, so thus another day begins & ends. Another day after that, and another, and so on. *sigh* I can't think of anything more to say. The days seem to meld together and I seem trapped by their consistancy. Love & Peace guys.

My Demon, My Pet

2004-10-02T01:48:00.000-04:00

*This actually comes with a disclaimer.*

*It's longer than I intended it to be, and I apologize.*

*Make sure you have time set aside if you want to read this whole thing.*

Eyes flash in the night. A dark form moves in the shadows. Something stirs the night air, yet nothing seems to be there. Shadows shift and bend irregularly as something is made visible. A creature born of darkness moves from the deep dark into the moonlight. It is humanoid, in form at least. Two legs, two arms, a torso, and head. The resemblance stops there. Wings drape across it's back. It melds with the shadows as if it were one itself. It seeps from place to place, seeking what it wants, what it needs. This demon has been born of my mind. This demon needs life. Needs my life. I let it have what it wants, because it gives me something in return. Whatever I want, pain, pleasure, whatever. It feeds, grows stronger, then dissipates back into the shadows, another flash of evil eyes before it returns to the unseen places...

Interesting how realistically you can take something eh? Skeletons in the closet, demons in the mind. Everyone has things they need to work out. And since I really don't have a closet (just a hole in the wall) I settle for the demons. And as sin takes hold, you can imagine it taking form and growing, depending on what sin it is. I think it'd be so much easier to take up a sword and crusade against these demons. They attack our minds, our hearts. They not only get us when we're weak, they sometimes do not attack at all. They slip in as happiness, as grief, whatever the situation calls for. We let them, not really knowing until it's too late. Sometimes we do know, yet we enjoy what we're into. If only it were as simple as simply physically beating a creature made of flesh and blood.

Yet, what can we do? They have their way with us, and we are quite helpless. They attack our minds, our families, our friends. They huddle together in dark alleys waiting to rape people. They sneak around in daylight waiting to steal something valuable. They wait for someone to look at them wrong, so they can put a bullet in their soft body. They sit passively, watching all this happen, reaching for more pringles.

Of course we can't do anything. That's the problem right? We try to do everything. We pick up the sword, we unsheathe it, we swing the blade. We cut things out of our lives, yet something else comes back to replace it. We strive constantly for the head of the beast, yet once we decapitate it another head rears up and shows it's attractive face. We are powerless to do anything against this gargantuan. We try for ages, yet the monster keeps taunting us with sexuality, with billions of pixels, with cheeseburgers. The hottest fashions are being sold by fallen angels, the gaming compaies are being run by fiends bloated with their own conciet, and the greatest food industries are being run by skin-and-bone cutthroats who want out money just to eat something that isn't all that good for us.

*takes a sip of tea*
well now, I've worked myself into a rut here... How do I kill someting like this that I've created? How do I destroy this monster of my mind? What is the bane to this beast?? Alright alright, it's not subltle at all, I know. People start focusing less on their bodies and how they appear, and more on how they act toward others. Poeple stop spending their lives chasing the newest games with the greatest graphics and start putting their noses into books, one Book really. And finally, people fill their hearts with God, and not their stomachs with food. Is all that stuff bad? No, of course not. Neither is swearing or smoking or drinking or gambling or whatever. It's bad when it becomes more than entertainment. It's bad when it becomes more than nourishment. And it's bad when it turns from looking just good to causing the opposite sex's eyes to explode from the fabric (or lack thereof) on your body.

The demons are sitting around, playing the game we often do. Wondering what to do now that people aren't paying as much attention to their ideals anymore. The demons scream in agony bacause of the holiness that has replaced their complacency, their idol worshipping. The demons wither under the glory of God that radiates through the people that they once controlled.

God isn't simply the solution, the answer, the kryptonite. God is all. Fill your life with Him, and what else can stay there? Conviction tells you when you have eaten enough, and one more burger would only be 99 cents gone to waste. The Holy Spirit nudges you to save the game, turn it off, and pick up that square object under all those clothes on your floor. Purity demands that you help the other gender out and give their eyes and minds and hormones a break.

Well, I haven't written myself out yet, but I'll end here. Sorry to have made this so long, but I get in the mood to write like this every now and again, and when that urge hits I go for it. The topic is just something I thought on tonight, and I hope it either helps out in some way, or maybe gives you something to think about, or even just entertained you for a little while. If you're looking for me to end with some great phrase or something, I won't. I'm not going to be changing anything majorly because of what I've written here, I've been working at this stuff for a while. Well, God's been working, I've been changing. Is it a losing battle? Sure, but the rules can be changed. It's not anything easy to do, but it's something that needs to be done. It's painful, it hurts. People crack under the pressure.

(okay, so I'm not done just yet...maybe a couple more paragraphs. You can skip ahead if you want)

Some people give in after failing to focus on God. They turn back to the demons and make then their gods. They celebrate and live out their lives as they want them to. They are happy. They become rich, they live well. When they die, if they're saved, they still go to Heaven. God still accepts them. Still accepts us. Some people have a problem with that too.

Yet some people take the burden on. They hang the sword up, and grab the Shield. The pressure is always great. The attacks made are enormous, yet the Shield withstands anything if only the person continues to hold it to the enemy. Muscles strain, tremble, and tear. Arms are made stronger. The people used to using the Shield are never accustomed to the weight on the other end because the attacks become heavier on those that are battle-hardened. Sometimes, we drop the sheild, thinking that a break is needed. Sometimes, bones break, yet miraculously the arm still hold the Shield up.

...*I'm out of tea*
Alright, that's enough. Again, I still could go on, but I'm getting too tired. You don't need to be praying for me for this or anything. Nothing more than usual, 'cause we all have these sort of demons, and should probably be praying for everyone else already. Thanks for reading though, and hopefully I won't have to write like this in here again.

Love & Peace

Time to mow : Time to think

2004-09-30T15:19:00.000-04:00

I was mowing today, and when I do so, I think a lot. Today, I thought of two important things...

The first, a joke inspired by an Allied truck I saw drive by:
A classroom setting, the class is going through vocabulary, the teacher calls on Timmy.
"Timmy, can you use the word 'allied' in a sentence?"
"I told me brother I was going to get him a birthday present, but allied."

Secondly, I was talking to Ashely about the degredation of evilness, and I thought of a quote that would describe the extent of my evilness...

"It's not about strength or power, you gotta be fluid. You have to be like water. You're tense, I'm calm. You apply excessive force, I control that force through fluid motion. That means relaxing the whole body so it can react instantly without resistance, you know without thought. It means becoming like clear water. Water can take any form. It drifts without effort one moment then pounds down in a torrent the very next."
-Spike

what?

2004-09-29T01:06:00.000-04:00

okay, I've not written here for several days for several reasons. The first reason being that I wasn't here. Last friday Jason, Hermann, & I went to Cedarville to see Jaime. And it was also Cedarville's homecoming, so it was fun. And it was very fun! We went to a Casting Crown concert friday night, then spent all day saturday haning out & going places. Sunday was also a blast. That night we hung out a little here, and then I went to bed.

Monday I was working at K-Mart, and it wasn't fun at all. Guess that was payback for the nice weekend. So I came home, relaxed for the rest of the day, and prepared to relax all week.

Problem was that thing tend to happen when I try to relax. Just keep me in your prayers as I'm facing my own demons...of sorts. It just feels like I'm losing things in my life that are important, and there's nothing to show for it ya know? I wouldn't guess so, but hey, it's only a journal!

Love & Peace guys...

BOOBAH = ANTICHRIST

2004-09-23T22:28:00.000-04:00

Years ago a toy was brought to the public called Furby. Some, myself included, believed these toys to be evil manifested in toy form. Some kind of demonic possession of children. A few years after that, Yano is released to the populous. Also a form of evil. Now, a few days ago I was straightening the toy department when I saw a new toy that I had also seen a commercial for. The commercial make it look like these little things were chasing children around. So there I am, looking at these things. I push one's belly. It roars at me. I'm like, what!? I push it again, it says in a very errie voice "boooo-baaaaaahhhhh." I'm telling you, it's creepy. Evil has once again worked its way into our children...

Anyway, tuesday I was working, was supposed to get off at 4:30, but they asked if I could stay till 10. So I did. While I was there I got a call from a guy I worked with at BC3's theater. He wanted to know if I could come wednesday to help move lights and stuff. So I did. And that was wednesday. When I got home, I fell asleep then went to church. Home again, made ice cream, movie, bed.

Today I worked the whole 9 hours. A full day I say. Then home for a nice relaxing evening! Tomorrow will see me in Cedarville, Lord willing, for a weekend of fun with Jaime! Okay, I'll be updating you all later. Love & Peace!!

A few days missed...was I missed?

2004-09-20T23:41:00.000-04:00

Bug: "Eever hear of a tune-up?" *Laughes*
Buck: "Hee hee hee hee hee, ever hear of a ritual killing? Hee hee hee hee hee"
-Uncle Buck

Alright. Let's see, what have you guys missed? Wow, you missed saturday, sunday, monday and tuesday! I'm sorry guys!! Okay, Saturday...

I worked at K-Mart. At the checkouts. Nothing real special happened, but I did remember all that I thought I forgot. That was good. But it was still checkouts, and I don't like checkouts. I know I did something that night... oh, Hermann & Ashley came over, then Katie and Brandon, and Jenette showed up!!! Woooo!! Anyway, we decided that since we always watch guy movies it would be nice to let the girls chose one. They chose The Prince & I or something. It was...okay.

Sunday, the K again, checkouts again. Only this day was supra-crazy because of these stupid people who thought that since the plants were 90% off, they wanted 12 of EVERYTHING!!! Got through that fiasco, and made it to another nap session. Went to church, then LOL Jason, JDubb, JC, and me & the fam went home to hang out. Bravehart was the topic of the evening, and so was violence... Jason, JDubb & Brolly (I get tired of typing Brandon) were the centers of that one... New day!

Monday. Ouch, Monday was stupid. It was something I just had to get through to get to today I suppose. of course, checkouts again. But it was only 4 hours, and I could take it. So I took it. Got home, squeezed in a nap (I don't like the short ones) and ate supper with the fam. And something happened...oh, Laine came over so Mom could dye her hair. OH! And I developed the most wicked headache I've had in weeks! I really wasn't in a good mood last night...till it went away... Wow, last night really sucked!

So that leaves us with toady. Well, today really. I haven't participated in toadish activities recently. Anyway, I was at checkouts...again!!! But here's where the day went from boiling to "so hot I'd rather be dead, or dead." I was aksed if I could work till 10, instead of calling it a day @ 4:30. Of course I can stay, the K is my life now! So thus, I stayed. I was then in charge of 3+ departments. That means straigtening all of them, and helping the customers to boot. ...I'd like to have given them the boot... So anyway, I do it, and 10 o'clock rolls it's merry way to my watch.

Come home, rinse down, Hermann, movie, net, video games, music, book. There, my day is over, and the update is too. Will tomorrow be better? Of course it will be!

Oh hey, before I end here I need ideas for a Halloween costume. I want to be top dog at the Halloween par-tay @ the K...so I need something real good. Any suggestions?

Love & Peace...but not as much as usual......

"Dog Food"

2004-09-18T14:42:00.000-04:00

When I was young, in the good old days on the farm, all I ate was dog food.
All the poor dogs whimper and they would yelp and I smiled and chewed.

Dog Food! A whole meal for a nickel.
Dog Food! On some bread with a pickle.
Dog Food! Guaranteed to drive your hunger away.
Dog Food! Keeps a horse employed.
Dog Food! Good for girls and boys.
Dog Food! Most kids like it more than broccoli

Nasty food I must plug my nose to swallow, because my Mom's on probation.
Eggplant, brussel sprouts go down and come out, nothing goes down smooth like Ken-L-Ration

Dog Food! A whole meal for a nickel.
Dog Food! On some bread with a pickle.
Dog Food! Guaranteed to drive your hunger away.
Dog Food! Keeps a horse employed.
Dog Food! Good for girls and boys.
Dog Food! Most kids like it more than broccoli.

Alpo! Kibble! Iams! Purina! Milkbone! Soupbone! Horse meat! Yeah!

Dog Food! A whole meal for a nickel.
Dog Food! On some bread with a pickle.
Dog Food! Guaranteed to drive your hunger away.
Dog Food! Keeps a horse employed.
Dog Food! Good for girls and boys.
Dog Food! Most kids like it more than broccoli.

-Five Iron Frenzy

It All Comes Back

2004-09-18T01:43:00.000-04:00

First day back at K-Mart. Feels exactly the same as when I left. Only, different in some ways. I feel better there than I did when I left. Maybe that's cause that job wasn't as bad as the post office...who knows. I came home & ate some lunch and jumped in the shower for a quick post-K rinse...when you need to feel clean and showering is too much. Then I was tired enough to take a nice long nap. It was one of those naps where you wake up a couple of times and know you're tired, feel just awesome still laying in bed, wonder what time it is, then realize you don't care what time it is. I slept till supper, then watched the flooding with the parents.

Then I was able to spend the night with a couple of beautiful young ladies. .....lol, wait wait, LOL...seriously, they're awesome. Ashley and Amelia are two of a kind. Amongst the myriad death threats they have a morbid way of friendship. Anyway, we saw Skycaptain and the World of Tomorrow. An excellent movie considering that the entire thing was done bluescreen. An excellent movie no matter what you say! Just came home after that for a few moments to think about things. Showered, and am sitting here very comfortable and relaxed. Today wasn't too bad. I wonder what tomorrow will be like...?

Okay guys, time for the end-phrase. Love & Peace!!

an old commercial

2004-09-16T22:47:00.000-04:00

in the shower I remembered this old commercial. This paper cut-out animation of this guy with a british voice climbing up a ladder into a can with someone's head. Saying something about looking inside the head of a pot head..."You might not find anything at all. Or maybe you would. LOOK, A CORN PUFF!!" I almost fell out of the shower laughing....*shudder* scary...

"Giants"

2004-09-15T23:59:00.000-04:00

When no one looks the clouds come rolling in,
And under darkened skies the buildings grow big teeth and eyes.
They breathe and walk through unending doors,
Eating restaurants, and barbershops, and hardware stores.
With catch phrases and jingles stealing,
Steel and concrete lies,
The corridors of Babylon are craning for the skies.

Who's behind the curtain anyway,
Who pulls the levers and tells the lies?
Giants roam the land today,
Gaining dominance with every stride.

Oh don't you cry for the mom and pops,
Nothing but dry eyes for integrity's demise.
Hulking machines grind as whistles blow,
Corporate Darwinism crushes everything below.
Advances in efficiency increasing productivity,
Are narrowing the margins for liberty.

Who's behind the curtain anyway,
Who pulls the levers and tells the lies?
Giants roam the land today,
Gaining dominance with every stride.

This house is haunted by the ghost of Adam Smith,
The Wealth of Nations, and the further death of innocence.
To rule the world, the desire of every man,
The earth is shaking, There are giants in the land.

See the blood red sun is rising,
On the broken carnage of the darkest days.
Giants locked together arm and arm,
Pushing all the meek out of the way.

Who's behind the curtain anyway,
Who pulls the levers and tells the lies?
Giants roam the land today,
Gaining dominance with every stride.

...a very creepy song my Five Iron. It's unlike their style, though it has the same instruments and whatnot, the tone is very different. It just hit me that I am helping out said giants by working at the K... Wow, not good. Maybe there's a way to destroy the monster from the inside... I'll work on that. May you go with God. Oh, and thanks for the apple...

HERMANN: Too Much In One Place

2004-09-14T23:30:00.000-04:00

On the tv show Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray gets to go on tv twice. Neither times was he very good at it. His father had a great quote after the 2nd time he went on the program:

"I could have eaten a box of Alpha-Bits

and crapped a better interview."

I find that extremely hilarious. Anyway, I got up today and went to the K for more paperwork. I'm #15 again! That's so awesome, cause I can still answer to that!!! Anyway, got home & left shortly with Hermann after to pick Ashley up at school. Then we picked Amelia up on the way to see Harry Potter 3. A very good movie if you all have been following the movies. This one is done better than the others. And that was it. Dropped the two off, got home, Hermann left, and I'm here. That was my day.

Only problem is, I didn't trim... that will be done tomorrow. And John, I need to read that through. Keep reminding me guys, I really want to stick with this one. Thanks & Love & Peace!!

and Evenings with Hermann

2004-09-14T01:00:00.000-04:00

What else happened today? The Punisher. It is a good movie, though violent, and a little inappropriate at parts. Mm, nothing else really. I never did get that nap I had wanted all day, so maybe I'm a little frizzled bacuase of that. Tomorrow looks good too. I'm pretty certain I'm going to be back at the K again, so that's good. More $$ again. Love & Peace!!

Mornings With Kent

2004-09-13T11:58:00.000-04:00

I got up early (early for me anyway) to take him over to BC3. He made me get sweetened creme cheese filled pretzels and trust me, you need to get them whenever you can! Thery are seriously good. Really, seriously, good. Oh, and we are helping rid the world of polio. Later!

"A Little More"

2004-09-12T22:24:00.000-04:00

"Oh, let the world crash love can take it.

Oh, let the world come crashing down."

-Skillet

Just cought my attention on the way home from Erie today. Sort of tired from all the driving. Didn't even go to church! But it's okay. Aaaaaand well, I dunno...is that all? Yeah, I think so. *sigh* strange day. Maybe sleep will help me out out out. G'night guys! Oh, Love & Peace!!

The Behrend College

2004-09-12T02:03:00.000-04:00

Well, not much to tell today. Got up, got ready for the fall kickoff activity, participated in the fall activity, and went to Erie. We saw Resident Evil 2, great movie! Ate, shopped @ Wal-Mart, came back. Here we are. Sorry for the kiddos back home that had to endure a night without us, hope you entertained yourselves enough without us!! Alright guys, Love & Peace!!

PLASMA

2004-09-11T01:36:00.000-04:00

Okay, you know those glass balls that contain the electricity, and you put your finger to it and the bolt jumps to your finger on the glass? I finally got one!

Anyway, today I went over to K-Mart and, against the warnings of others that I knew there, I re-applied. Got home, ate lunch, washed the car. Then some of us went to Boardman for my many shopping needs. I bought a real nice mousepad too. Then back home for a beautiful movie - Sleepy Hollow! I took the gals home, then back for a fun filled night on the net... Well, maybe not......

Anyway, today was an incredibly nice day weather-wise, and prayerfully tomorrow will be the same for the youth activity. Hope you all have a great weekend! Love & Peace!!

side note

2004-09-10T01:44:00.000-04:00

I would also like to express my dissapointment in the lack of comments I'm getting...aren't you guys reading my blogs, or am I just blogging to myself here!?!?

Another Beautiful Day

2004-09-10T01:34:00.000-04:00

Hey, I don't know how many of you agree with me, but I love days like today! They're so nice and gray & overcast and cool!!! AH!! It really reminds me once again how awesome God is! It's just, whooee! I love the dreary-ness of it and the moodiness that is allowed. The trees look real nice, all green set against the blackened sky...

Speaking of, I had another dream about tornadoes last night...I want to know what that means!!! Anyway, I applied at Aldi's and they aren't hiring anymore. So tomorrow I'm going back to K-Mart, I doubt they won't turn me down. So yeah, nice day, beautiful day. Tonight I watched the football game & played Jedi Outcast. Well, not too much from this side of the screen.

Ah-! Quote? Let me think...

"The day is gray outside
It's still brighter than the day would be
If I was without You"
-Seven Day Jesus

That song even reflects the grayness of days like today, it's good. Love & Peace!!

Under The Sky So Blue

2004-09-08T23:22:00.000-04:00

"You're up the creek without a woof"

-Chuck Fombelle

Okay, I should start with Monday right? Well, we woke up a little earlier to go to Marrienville!!!! It was the perfect day for it! Nice & cool, so you weren't warm wearing pants, and a t-shirt was all you needed while hiking around. Sky was so blue & almost clear! The wind was nice & gusty, so it was always there to cool you off. It was a little buggy, but the day can't be truly perfect can it? Dad and I were the only ones who went, and I took the camera, cause I love it up there & wanted pictures. We went along a real nice stream through the woods then went to a path & some clearings... That's where we ran into the porcupine & the snake. Hey, that sounded like some Beatles song, eh? Anyway, we got some pics of them, then headed back to camp.

Now, why is this such a big deal to me?? I have always loved the woods up there. It's so peaceful & beautiful no matter what the weather! And, this is probably the bigger, more realistic reason, it's a time that I can actually praise & worship God! Out there in the ferns & trees & streams & aw just everything! It's really something! So peaceful & beautiful out there. I just know I'm part elf!!

Well, yesterday, tuesday, I had to wait for the guy from Verizon to not come, and for Dad to call & be told that they lied to us and we are unable to get dsl. Not good. Hermann and I went job hunting at the Outlets, nothing. Well, there were a couple somethings, but they were at womens apparel stores...I'd feel a little uncomfortable there... So we ended the night with The Italian Job & Sonic the Hedgehog 2!

Today I got up and it was raining. I scuttled around the house & ate some lunch & filled out some applications & did other stuffs. It was still raining. It was raining when it was time for supper. And today got real awesome for me after supper. Mom had gone inside to sleep through the 6:00 news, so Dad and I were out watching it rain & flood.

This was just another time that I could really worship God. We had a while where neither of us said anything & we just sat there & listened to God whispering. He was spitting on us a little too, but it's okay. But that's the mood I was in when I went to church. Just a nice, peaceful, God is awesome & I love His rain mood. We're working in John now, and I intend to go through it & keep up with everything, I mean, I have the time right?

So here's where you guys can do me a favor. Every time you talk to me, ask me what I've done with John & if I'm keeping up. That should help me. ...should... Anyway, that's what's been happening. Hope the rain doesn't get to you all, & if you have the chance, enjoy it, that's what God put it here for! Love & Peace guys!!

quickie

2004-09-05T13:51:00.000-04:00

Alright, I had to say something about this when I got home from church here. Today was communion. Chuck Gavroy was giving the message. Now, I don't usually have any great revelations or any moving experiences during church or anything, but today really was amazing! At the end of his sermon, Chuck pulled out a little wooden cross. He had pencils, little slips of paper, and thumb tacks. He then told us to come up, write down a major sin that's really on our minds, and tack it to the cross! I've never seen so many people out of their seats when they're not singing!! It was real good, not just in that aspect, but it's an awesome idea! Anyway, the cross was pretty well covered, front and back. See? Amazing!!!!

Now, this was all in preparation for what was about to come. The bread was passed, no problems. But when the cups were passed...I began to experience problems. For some reason, and this is really odd, I was quite awake and attentive this morning. And right after that whole cross thing, I was like, wow, can't wait to take communion!! So I passed the cups down to Brandon & Katie, then passed it back, grabbing my own cup. Then it started. A little drop of juice dribbled out of the cup and onto the floor. I didn't think I spilled any, so I inspected the cup. I found it was leaking. So I cupped my other hand, and proceeded to catch all the juice from the cup into my hand. The elders are at the back of the church, making their way back up front, and most of my juice is now in my hand!! Very awesomely, because it took amazing prowess to do this, I poured the juice back into the cup. But of course, the cup is still leaking, so I'm not done.

Dad gets up and starts to deliver a message. Here's where I was faced with a dilemma. I was now determined to take communion, especially after "laying my sin at the foot of the cross" (they had run out of tacks when I go tup there) and I wasn't about to leave before we drank from the cup. But Dad was in a good mood today, and was a little lengthy on his sermonization. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that it is real hard to focus on what's important with grape juice dripping into your hand.

So, why did God allow my cup to be blemished? Who knows. He may have been teaching me patience, He may have been trying to temper my focus a little. Maybe He just thought it'd be funny, I did! But it really did strike me as wonderful that I got that much out of a leaky cup! So, there it is, it's only been one half of the day, and I'm enjoying God. Wheeeee!

By the way, by the power of God, not one drop of grape juice found its way onto my clothes!!! PRAISE GOD!

Lost the Plot

2004-09-05T13:14:00.000-04:00

This is an addition to last night's entry, since I didn't have a quote or anything in there...

When you come back again

would you bring me something from the fridge?

Heard a rumor that the end is near

but I just got comfortable here.

sigh.

Let's be blunt.

I'm a little distracted.

What do you want?

Headaches and bad faith

are all that I've got.

First I misplaced the ending

then I lost the plot.

Out among the free-range sheep

while the big birds sharpen their claws.

For a time we stuck with the shepherd

but you wouldn't play Santa Claus.

sigh.

Let's be blunt.

We're a little distracted.

What do you want?

Once we could follow,

now we cannot.

You would not fit our image,

so we lost the plot.

When I saw you for the first time

you were hanging with a thief

And I knew my hands were dirty,

and I dropped my gaze.

Then you said I was forgiven

and you welcomed me with laughter.

I was happy ever after.

I was counting the days

when you'd come back again.

we'll be waiting for you

When you comin' back again?

we'll be ready for you

Maybe we'll wake up when...

maybe we'll wake up when

you come back again

lies.

Let's be blunt.

We're a little unfaithful.

What do you want?

Are you still listening?

'Cause we're obviously not

We've forgotten out first love

We have lost the plot.

And why are you still calling?

You forgave we forgot.

We're such experts at stalling

that we lost the plot.

lost the plot

When you come back again

would you bring me something from the fridge?

Heard a rumor that the end is near

but I just got comfortable here.

Lost the Plot

by the Newsboys

Goodwill-minded

2004-09-05T01:58:00.000-04:00

I'll fill in a quote or something later, I couldn't come up with one tonight. Anyway, we were at the mall tonight. I realized something. I'm not really supportive of most stores these days! Am I just a tightwad? I mean, every popular store I was in seemed kind of expensive to me... Why are polo shirts $20!? Is that normal now? I mean, I haven't really followed any kind of popular trend in clothing, but, it's got to be expensive to look good these days!! I dunno, it just seems too strange to me. And, I know it's the style and all, but how do you girls fit into those teeny shirts they sell!?!? It seems like it would be real uncomfortable, and besides...it may look good, but the reasons aren't good, follow me? 'Course the clothes they sell for guys seem to be so big they fall off all the time...??? Is there a compromise or something?

Anyway, today was interesting. Pretty boring till the evening hours hit, then Ashley, me, Brandon, & Katie headed to Boardman for some real shopping. That's what sparked the previous paragraph. But I didn't buy anything! Wooooooo! Save that money!! And we headed back home and watched Josie & the Pussycats. BAM, I'm hit with something. That movie focuses on trends and popularity and stuff, and I was thinking about the same stuff! Straaaaaaaange... So, Brandon took Katie home, and Ashley and I talked for a good while after. Well, for a little bit...then I suppose I talked her ear off. Sorry again! But I realized some things about myself through the process, so it's okay. Thanks again Ashley for ...heh..."lending an ear"!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Okay guys, sorry about that. Love & Peace!!

Here's one for you...

2004-09-02T23:21:00.000-04:00

How many dirty, stinking apes does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One dirty, stinking ape to screw it in, and two dirty, stinking apes to throw feces at it.

Ah, can't get enough of that... Today, I got up, made cookie dough, and went out to bail hay. It was hot tonight. Came back home for some STUFFED PEPPERS (my favorite dish)!!!!!! Then Dad & I went to Uncle Forbush's. Then to Forbush's, the ice ceam place. Yum yum.

Is that all? Yup, that's all! More of the same tomorrow I suppose. *sigh* more of the same. I think I need to excercise more if I'm this tired already....grrrrrr

Spider or Butterfly?

2004-09-02T01:38:00.000-04:00

Two things. First, another little quote from Trigun-

(a butterfly flies into a spider's web. the spider moves toward the butterfly. Knives grasps the spider)
Knives: "That was the easiest way to stop him. You wanted to save the butterfly right?"
Vash: "I didn't want to kill the spider! I wanted to save them both!"
Knives: "What are you talking about? Unless the spider caught the butterfly it would die of starvation anyway. You can't save both, don't you know that?"
Rem: "It's not right to make that choice so easily. Both of them are living creatures Knives. So you should-"
Knives: "But I'm not wrong about this Rem! If you just keep saving the butterflies the spiders will die!"
Rem: "Yes but-"
Knives: "Wanting to save both is just a naive condtradiction. And what would you have rather had us do, just stand and think about it? In the meantime while we do that the spider eats the butterfly-"
(Vash tackles Knives)
Vash: "What's wrong with you Knives? Don't you understand? I wanted to save both of them you idiot!"

And second, a song by Seven Day Jesus-

Stay away from what I know

Stay away from what I see

Don't contaminate your soul

Stay away from me

I'm so scared to trust your voice

What becomes of those who dare

Do they look to find you gone away

Or do they find you there

Oh why, why don't I speak

Why do I seek your hand, before your plan, oh why

Why

Have I heard this once before

Water pouring down my face

I forgot the love you gave to me

Forgot about your grace

Why, why don't I speak

Why do I seek your hand, before your plan, oh why

Why

Well anyway, just something I thought I'd share with you all before I went to bed. Goodnight everyone! Love & Peace!!

Serious Sinus Situations

2004-09-01T22:46:00.000-04:00

Alright, I'm going to start off with some prayer requests. I am still trying to find a job. Yeah yeah, not as hard as I should, but still trying. And, on a very much related note, we might be having problems with me...I don't want to get into the messy details, but my sinuses are a side issue that affect a larger part of my life. Things may get complicated, so I'll just ask you all for prayer! Thanks!!

Um, well, anyway, yesterday I went to the doctors to see about my sinuses. Apparently my nose is crooked (who would've guessed that!?) and some fluids are draining somewhere and they didn't want to do the cat scan just yet. So that's what I did yesterday. Today I did some driving around, errands to do, missions to complete. Tomorrow I might be bailing hay for Mr. Craig, and the same Friday. Talk about sinuses, you want to see me looking completely terrible, miserable, and disgusting!? See me after I've been bailing hay! Owh, it's bad, but good ya know? Good not only cause I'm helping out, I get money. I mean, experience. Seriously, it is fun to do some of that manual labor type stuff. Other than that, I might be baking cookies in the morning. Who knows.

And also keep (you all in college) in mind the small numbers that are left in the youth group. It will be good for growth, not so good for outreach. I think Dad wants to work on discipleship for now, so that should be okay. Um, anything else? Pray that my body doesn't get too messed up bailing the hay. It's fun, but taxing on the sinuses... ugh......

Okay, goodnight all. I miss you all who aren't here & hope to see you soon. Oh, pray that I will try to motivate myself into His word more, I need to get that into a good habit. Gee, I've got lots of prayer requests!! Love & Peace!!

And Between the Wasteland and the Sky...

2004-08-31T01:28:00.000-04:00

People who sin say this: That they had to, to survive. People who sin say this: It's too late now to stop. The shadow called sin dogs them steadily from behind, silently, without a word. Remorse and agony are repeated, only to end up at depair, in the end. But the sinners just don't know that if they'd only turn around there is a light there. A light that keeps shining on them, ever so warmly. A light that will never fade.

Trigun is still my favorite anime, right up there with Inuyasha and Cowboy Bebop. There are some characters that sort of inspire me. Remind me of virtues. Some that I have, some that I'm working on. Vash really has the best of them. He uses his power for good. Not only for his own good, but for the betterment of others. That's something that Cowboy Bebop has a hard time with, considering the characters.

A lot of cleaning today...but what have I been up to recently...? Okay, saturday I forget what I did. Trimmed I believe. Trimmed the run out back. Then I went to Geneva to get Brandon. Then I forget...oh, sunday school picnic. Sunday was a nice, slow, easy day. Woke up late, waffles, dinner at relatives, then a nice slow night at home.

Today I cleaned. A lot. Also, all throughout this week I've been working on the computer. So, today was more boring, but useful. Had a nice long walk with the fam. Still cleaning. And watching Trigun obviously. Room looks nice.

More Mowing!

2004-08-28T02:03:00.000-04:00

Yeah, more mowing. The church again. A lot of grass, a big mower. A big mower with terrible tires for turning. What is a guy to do... dodge the kids & rocks that's what! Anyway, nothing much to say about today, just that, food, & video games. That's all for today folks. Sorry, but there just isn't much to do anymore.

Speaking of, pray God will lead me to the right job. It's important. Thanks...

Another goodbye...and an exorcism

2004-08-27T01:37:00.000-04:00

Today... actually it was last night. I made the mistake of clicking the multiplayer option on Jedi Outcast. Needless to go into detail, I was up late. Got up a little late this morning, bummed around till I was fully awake, then trimmed the run. Not a small task. But thankfully it didn't take long. After that, I had enough time to shower, eat, I drive for my dental appointment. Now, I don't like shots. I like them even less when they're in my mouth. Two of them were needed today, and a bit of drilling to a nervous & sensitive tooth. Not to mention my mouth was numb a couple hours after the whole ordeal...I was pretty sorry looking.

Well, more of a bright spot of the day was seeing the Chronicles of Riddick. Good movie, I really enjoyed it. I would've enjoyed it a lot more if that stupid loumouthed girl sitting behind us would've kept her stupid thoughts in her own dumb mind. It really ruined a lot of the movie experience for me... Oh well. We got home & ate a little supper, then we went to the pie festival. Didn't stay long, Ashley & Amelia had to go back home, but it was long enough to see my cousin do very well cheerleeding. And listen to some very strange music...

Before Ashley left, she reminded me of a good point. She wasn't just leaving, she's leaving. So I had to say another goodbye. And that in itself reminds me that Jared and Liz are both leaving too! Goodbye guys! It's been a fun summer, too bad it couldn't be longer... but there's always breaks!

Well, I got some more Jedi Outcast in before Hermann showed up, then Ryan came over! That was cool!! So we waited a long time for Matt to come over before we started a movie I didn't even want to watch. I had seen the Exorcist before, it scared me then. I watched maybe 1/3 tonight & still didn't enjoy it. It's a good movie, don't get me wrong, but I just don't like it.

Tomorrow? Who knows what's going on... I think I need to mow the church again, but Meredith hasn't seen Hidalgo. Maybe that's what I can do tomorrow, mow (again) and watch a movie (again). Heh, this has been an interesting week. I still need to get up to Marrienville sometime...

yesterday, today, and tomorrow

2004-08-26T00:21:00.000-04:00

Well, yesterday was very strange. I was going to 4WAYS to mow. Before I could get there, a call was placed that ended up with people meeting at my house @ 3. That meant I had to mow, trim, shower, and eat all in the span of 3 hours. Things got interesting. It was incredibly hot out and mowing was a beast. But hey, I haven't done real fun work like that out in the heat, so it was acutally fun. I got a fun little present out of it from my cousin. As it turned out, I didn't have to trim, so I was able to get home & eat & shower in time for everyone to show up. We went to boardman & saw the Stepford Wives. A good movie, good good. Then we came back & did nothing really... Right? Yeah, people went home early & I messed around with the computer. End day.

Today I woke up & went to 4WAYS to trim. Did that. Came home & ate, then helped Mom husk corn so she can freeze it. Don't ask, it's better than canned anyway... Took a nap, ate delicious chinese food, and then put my head in a plate of it (don't ask). People came over & we uh... fire. There was a fire & some Kingdom Hearts. I BEAT SEPHIROTH - FINALLY!

Tomorrow is looking like I'm renting Pitch Black, then getting my mouth stuck with needles then shot with novacaine. Then hopefully we're going to see the Chronicles of Riddick. That'll cheer me up. Unless it stinks. That won't be fun. Well, I think that might be all, unless something else happens in the evening. But hey, who knows?

I'm watching Cowboy Bebop right now. Ahhhhhh, it's been so long since I've been able to watch this stuff. I've missed it! Again, another night of goodbyes... I'll miss all who are leaving soon... It's been fun, but hey, the time away will make the next time together even better!

Liquid Pillow Fights

2004-08-23T01:46:00.000-04:00

Today started out quite like a normal sunday. I woke up & was ready in time for Brandon to make us incredibly late for church. After the morning service (another sermon by Woodward) we went to Ponderosa, to celebrate my father's father's 78(?)th birthday. There were three immature people there. One was a little boy, the other his sister, and the 3rd their grandmother (my aunt). It was hilarious to see "Grandma" get these kids in trouble.

Went home for a very relaxing nap. It was so relaxing I had several dreams in the span of under two hours. Don't you love that kind of sleep that you feel like you've slept for hours & it's only been like a half hour? That's the kind this was. It was really something. I had a dream I wasn't sleeping on the bed, but in a chair with my head on the desk. I have no idea what that was about...

Well, I woke up and got dressed for the gathering at another church. Now, I had heard that there was going to be a praise band there (that's why almost nobody from our church showed up...ugh) and I was surprised. They really rocked. The sax player was amazing & so was the guitarist. Really awesome. Only drawback was that it was hard to follow the words. But hey, worship when you can & when & how it's available.

Came back home for something to do after. I'm going to miss nights like tonight once you all leave... Throwing pillows at each other and dumping water on Jenette...*sigh* how can the night get any better??? Seriously though, once you all leave, what am I going to do with myself? Movies will be movies again! I won't have all this water & pillows strewn about the room... I know that sounds like work, but it's a sign that fun was had. Fun will be rare once you all leave. We'll try to make the best of what we have though eh?

Okay, with school starting and autumn on the way, I am listening to DC Talk's Free at Last album a little more. It's such a fall-sounding selection to me. Mellow & a little heavy with the more depressing sounding tones, it just fits the grove of school starting with the end of summer. *sigh* I want to be back in high school listening to this stuff.....*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Football Concert

2004-08-22T00:58:00.000-04:00

When was the last time I wrote in this, a couple of days ago? Well, to catch up, all I did saturday was rent movies & watch em. Some video gaming & housework, but the movies were the main focus. Three movies: Secret Window, Ferris Beulers (aw man, who knows...) Day Off, and UHF. Secret Window is amazing. I won't say any more, cause it's good. Is there some language in it? Yeah, I think so...a little. Um, FBDO is good, funny. Brainless. Good. UHF is even less than that. It's just pure hilarium and real fun fun. I enjoy that movie imensely.

Today I got up and picked Katie up...urrrrrrrr. That's Brandon's job, why am I doing it? We went up to Geneva to watch the football team get smashed. Ehhh, then what...? Then we went home, I took a small nap, and went to the Cambpell's. Then we drove to this concert tour with Michael W. Smith and Mercy Me. Even though I don't worship with music, it was a fun concert. Seriously, it was great. Ummm, what else, came home & got online to share the evening with my friends. That's fun. I'm a little tired, and ugh, watching Ed TV, which is a movie I don't recommend. Bad bad bad. I'm going to go get something to eat, and uh, keep talking & looking at others blogs.

One thing, ever notice that when your smile is fake, it starts hurting. You can smile, truly smile all you want, but when it's fake, it hurts. Little bit of info there.

Goodbye to Some

2004-08-20T03:36:00.000-04:00

Some people said their goodbyes tonight. Most important for me was probably Doug (though it doesn't lessen the rest of you guys leaving, I've only known him longer!). And he was right, we haven't been able to spend much time together at all this summer. Most of our time was taken up with work, and when we weren't working we were leading or mowing or some nensense like that. Though he did say (or he talked to Dad and he said) that we seem to have gotten closer this summer. And that's awesome. The simple fact that we haven't been together as much as we have the past summers, but we have grown closer is powerful. Really.

So, some of you guys are leaving, but you're gonna be somewhere else. It's just not here (can you tell it's 3 in the morning?). You know what I mean. You all have opportunities to impact people wherever you are, and though you all will be missed, it's important to make other people miss you when you leave to come back here!

And what to do with the people still left here? We're going to have to rock twice as hard for those who have gone on before you (I'm not leaving, that's why I say you). So maybe this time next week I'll be saying goodbye to more of you... Well, let's not think about that. That'll come when it's time. Until then, we'll just have to keep hanging out. And going to church. And reading books. Books are fun. Seriously, I usually read them two at a time, because I love them so much. One book for serious, new-story reading. And the second book for I-like-it-so-much-I-read-this-one-a-lot reading. Ooh, like The Oath by Frank Peretti. Amazing book. Why? It's about my favorite animal!! What is that animal? Read the book and find out!!!

"Skin"

2004-08-19T03:26:00.000-04:00

"Now I'd seen him despondent a few times as of late

Sometimes the answer that love gives is the hardest one to take

I know he was prone to paint the voice of his own fear

So Vincent, he picked up the blade and he put it to his ear

Look at yourself in the mirror, you're all rumpled, red, stubbled, and gaunt

You walk a dead end path in a dry corn field and now this morose response

Your princess she don't wanna see you, no your princess she don't wanna hear

So Vincent, he picked up the blade and he put it to his ear

Now look, if you're gonna come around here and say those sort of things

You gotta take a few on the chin

You talking about love and all that stuff

You better bring your thickest skin

Sometimes you can't please everyone

Sometimes you can't please anyone at all

You sew your heart onto your sleeve

And wait for the ax to fall

You there with the paint box. You there with paper and pen

Me I've got this blunt instrument, I'm gonna play on 'till the end

And you know you come with empty hands, or you don't come at all

You deal your best hand out in the marketplace, and let the chips fall

The package it comes wrapped up

There is a lesson here

Vincent, he picked up the blade and he put it to his ear

Now look, if you're gonna come around here and say those sort of things

You gotta take a few on the chin

Yeah you're talking about sin and redemption

Well, you better wear your thickest skin

Sometimes you can't please everyone

Sometimes you can't please anyone at all

Sew your heart onto your sleeve

And wait for the ax to fall"

-Vigilantes of Love

Okay, I don't know how many of you actually have heard of VOL, but they are like, an old band that I got off Nathan years ago. This song is just so amazingly great for me. This and the dozen other Michael Roe and a few other VOL songs stick with me. But it's just so lyrically awesome. I just thought I'd share that with you all. This is one of those songs that I don't really like to share around, because it means something to me... It's just a great song to me, that's all.

"Collide"

2004-08-19T02:25:00.000-04:00

"Well, love is fire and the coals are barely burning
Cold fills the emptiness that fills this empty place
I taught you the walk but then you ran away from me
And that's not how it's supposed to be

I, I collide with love as an illusive state of mind
I know there's something else it's supposed to be
I, I collide with love as an illusive state of mind
Something's killing me!"

-Jars of Clay

Well anyway, today was interesting. I finished up the mowing with help from Father o' mine. Although the mower he was using broke, we still finished and made it home in time for a great meal. I had been missing those meals when I was working at the post office... Then we went to church.

The service was great, more circle of emotion. Then we ended up in Boardman to watch Dodgeball, a movie that I thought was funny at parts, quite crude in others. My judgement: it was okay, but I probably won't watch it again... Doug and I continued our night at King's, and on the way home started remembering great things like the Brian Soup song:

"Brian Soup is the best
Contains more soup than all the rest
So buy yourself a can today
And it will chase your blues away
Soup, Soup, Brian Soup!"

That's 4th grade hilarium right there.

Well, another day ends, and (sorry Ashley) I'm listening to Michael Roe, and a little bit of the Vigilantes of Love. They will take me through the rest of the night. It's been a rough day for some reason, and my left pinky toe echoes the pain I seem to be feeling emotionally. It's a dull ache mostly, but at times a very sharp and painful sensation. ...but it's healing......

Kill Ukraine

2004-08-18T00:51:00.000-04:00

Is that how it's spelled? Anyway, today was a day that was fairly useful and one that you can look back on and say "Boy, I did stuff today." I woke up nice & late, ate a nice lunch, mowed some of the lawn in solitude, and did some stuff around the house. People came over & we were supposed to help Doug out with stuff for college, but we only did some of it before we were all entranced by the olympics. That's where today's title comes into play. Apparently Ukraine isn't good enough to be shown on TV, and if it is in fact not Ukraine, someone tell me because I can't quite remember.

As for the gaps in the blog. Sunday I ended up not having to do a lesson, and we chose to continue with the circle of emotion (circle of encouragement) instead. It was good to see real feelings working their way out in that group. Things like that don't happen often, and they should be savored when possible. Well, we went to Jenette's afterward. Not only did we have fun playing games, but there was a real good talk afterward that I was honored to be a part of.

Monday I woke up (late) and got together with Matt, Doug, & Hermann. We shopped around & ended up with nice games & cds, always good buys. Umm, then we met the girls and went to the fair. Rides were fun (though the fun comes from the chance that you may not survive!) and the food was awesome, as always. We continued the night @ Mylo's. Another day gone... another day closer to the inevitable

Well, again, another day closes. And so does a page in the Open Book of my life. Actually, it was either that or Heart on my E-Sleeve, but that just sounds gay. Though I am going to get a shirt and sew a heart onto the sleeve. How awesome would that be? My heart on my sleeve. Amazing what I am capable of huh?

A Day At The "Beach"

2004-08-15T04:04:00.000-04:00

Okay, I got up at 6:30-ish and had my cocoa wheats (the tasty hot cereal with a cocoa treat) and did the whole "get ready" routine. Hit the church a little late, but it's okay, there were people that still needed to get there, so I wasn't the last one. Heh heh...

When we arrived at Presque Isle (sp?) it had already rained. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad one, but hey, it rained, I deduced that, so I was pretty happy with my sleuthing skills... Anyway, it was pretty cool temperature wise until it warmed up. Wow, that was profound... But anyway, yeah, it got nice & warm. Enough to burn my unprotected legs!

It was a fun day & I missed all who couldn't make it... But now I suppose I have to work on a lesson that I'm giving tomorrow evening... This should prove to be quite interesting. So, I'll be heading off to bed. And besides, I'm tired, and sleep would really feel awesome.